We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Sour Patch Kids Berries: Sour, Sweet, and Fake!

Author

I hadn’t seen the Sour Patch Kids berry mix before so I bought and decided to review. These definitely be not new, as Cybele reviewed back in 2011, and these berry-flavor-mix-offshoot-of-an-original ain’t entirely original either. We’ve seen this series play out many other times in all sorts of genres, especially gum and gummies. Still, the Gurus are big fans of the Kids, and for good reason. For one, they talk the sour talk and walk the sour walk. Not the “extreme(!)” sour that turns them into novelty (though the Sour Patch Extreme lives too), but a very eatable if not darn right edible sour that makes it hard to put just a couple in your mouth and move on.

Sour Patch Package

First thing I like about these is that on the package it says straight up “Artificially Flavored”. Good for you Kraft. No lies. I want to know straight up: “Made with fake shit?” great. “Filled with fat?” wonderful. “A fat free food?” ok..I kinda of draw the line there. It becomes fat, people. No one’s eating a bag of things and on weigh-in day finding they dropped 2.4 lbs for the week.

There are no flavor profiles on the package, so here, let me make them up for you:

Blue Razzzzberry! — taste like your ordinary blue candy yet maybe brighter and sweeter than others you’ve had, after getting through the initial sour sugar coating.
Red Cherrezzy! — these are the “you’ve-had-these-before” cherry, with the sour coating. They too are sweet but the flavor gets lost a bit once you’re through the sour sugar outside.
Purple Grapezzy! — my faves of the bunch. But is ‘grape’ a berry? You could potentially tell me that this is blackberry but…it isn’t. It’s got to be grape and remember, I love fake grape.
Pink Strawzzberezzy! — took me 3 pieces and a side conference with a house guest to finally determine these were supposed to be strawberry. They taste more like general sour pink. But again, they told me on the package it was going to be fake, so we’re good!

Overall, I dare say that Sour Patch Kids are at the top of the sour candy pyramid in America. Some of our counterparts outside of the US do sour better (see: Haribo Sour) but as the Who said, the Kids are allright.

  • jonnyguru

    Wow, sounds epic.  I want, I need, I shall eat.

  • http://www.hancocks.co.uk/haribo-sweets Millie Christopher

    I love that. I don’t really care what exactly is in it or what it’s made of. I could eat a lot of those.

  • Hannah

    Grapes /are/ berries!

    • http://www.candygurus.com Matty

      Wait – grapes are berries? Since when? Was that a law enacted in 1998? I was stoned most of that year.

  • Adam Rowley

    I love these bad boys!