See, what I do is try every freaking possible Sweetart form factor so you don’t need to rot your teeth finding the one you might like best.
What I do is stare and consider, taste and pucker, suck and chew, and swallow all those calories and fat because I love you. Literally, I love you. I’m like that guy on TV who tells you Jesus loves you only I’m the Jesus.
So I met a good guy who works for a company that I work with too in my other life and this guy also works with Nestle and Nestle makes Sweetarts so he sent me some. Not just some but lots. of varieties. I had no idea how many there were of them. As you can see.
Jonny said “you should do a Sweetarts throwdown” and thus this post was born.
I’ve always kinda liked Sweetarts. (I’m talking about the actual SweeTARTS on the bottom of the package picture above.) They are an OG sour candy and there’s nothing ‘tart’ about them, unlike other candies that call themselves such. These are actually sour. Which of course I love.
Let’s run down all the goods I got, yes?
Starting with the Soft & Chewy ropes, which I started by not liking then changed to really liking.
These are rebranded from Kazoozles, which Jonny (also) liked oh so many years ago. The flavor is more defined cherry than the other SweeTARTS red colored candies have. They are also the least tart. Nor sour. Still, they are more tart than any other red-ropes-like candy. They have a soft filling, surprisingly not gross. I’d like to see them aged, with more chew.
Next up we got the “Chews.”
These look like Laffy Taffy (Nestle makes those too by the way) and kinda taste like them too, though as far as I can tell there’s only one flavor (at least the 3 I tried were all red). They are more tart than Laffy Taffy, which is good, but I can’t give them more than an “ok”. I couldn’t fill a blog post about them. And because they are just enough like Laffy Taff, that I don’t care for, I put these at the bottom of the pile.
I should have started this review with these little ones:
They are awesome. Small, a rounder & slightly bigger tart n tiny-like puppy, these are much more sour and chewy. Again, flavors aren’t the main plot line. It’s the sour chew. They felt like an old friend only I’m not actually sure if there are other candies like this. Get em – you can pop 10 in your mouth at one time and over indulge wonderfully.
Ever had the Giant SweeTARTS?
They’re good too, but honestly they used to be better. Years ago these were more chalky, almost like a Razzle, and then they would come together while you were eating and become really chewy. The sour/tart always forefront of course. The newer version is just as tart but it doesn’t start as chalky and fall-apart like the original. It just kinda starts stickier and chewy. Not as novel. Still – good. Can’t eat more than one though. Maybe 1.5.
And then we get to the basics.
These aren’t as great. Which is hilarious since I started the review saying “I always kinda liked them.” But now? Eh. Pedestrian. Espesh when you got these Chewy Sours:
Just like the mini guys, only… wait for it … w a i t f o r i t …. only bigger! These are great. Very sour. Very chewy. I wanted more.
Luckily, my friend gave me like 17 packages of them.
Want your share? Buy em yo!