Razzles….First They’re Candy, Then They’re Gum, Then They’re Shitty!”

Is it gum or candy? More importantly, why the hell was I so obsessed with these as a kid?

Reviewed by Jonny


March 5, 2009

Visit DylansCandyBar.com


I’m not happy right now. I’m never that happy, but right now, I have several reasons:

1. The fucking Roosters of Kauai are lucky that I don’t have a rifle. Non-stop cock a doodle fucking doo, from 6 am to sunset. I’m not kidding.
2. My son is a spaz, and I don’t have the energy for it.
3. Razzles.

Razzles. Remember these? They’re supposed to be “nostalgia” candy, meaning, candy from the 80’s or earlier. And I DO remember them, or at least I thought I did. The tag line is “First they’re candy, then they’re gum!”

But they’re NOT candy. You EAT candy. These aren’t to be eaten, cause they’re gum. That’s all they are-gum. Hard gum. And it’s not good gum either. There’s really no way to keep chewing it for more than 2 minutes, as the flavor bails early.

In short, here’s what we have: bad gum. But the criminal thing is their billing as candy. Someone got rich off of packaging, and that shit aint right, especially when the money’s coming from dumbass little kids like me, using half their allowance.

The lone saving grace of these things is the flavor. It’s pretty good. But then again, it disappears immediately, so it’s pretty bad.

As my people have been want to say over the years, “Never again!”

Bottom Line: Shit Sandwich.
Would I Buy These Again?: Not a chance.



Zolli Candy


  1. walkingtrout

     I laughed so hard after reading this review of razzles I started to cry.  ITS SO TRUE!  and i even remember thinking (as a kid) that these SUCK!  But all my friends like them, and i just bought a bag, so im going to eat them anyway..   :0) I think Im going to order some bacon peanut brittle now…

  2. greebs

    The one thing you left out is that it’s false advertising – it says, “First it’s candy, then it’s gum!”

    It’s never candy, and it’s barely gum. It’s poo-poo.


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