Better Move to Europe if You Want Milk Gummies

Milk gummies. They're made of milk. You drink them. Kidding! You don't actually drink them.

Reviewed by Matty

March 14, 2016


Interesting how us Gurus get candy from outside the country when we want something fresh, unique, and just plain old different. You think the US is the land of innovation? Sure we made the goddamned interwebs and we birthed the iphone, which literally changed how the world interacts with each other… yet we can’t make awesomely weird gummy candies? #ThatsAMiss.

We received these German “White Teds” months ago. Back in 2015. And I tried them initially and kinda liked them.

I like milk candy – from White Rabbits to Lik M Aid or Fun Dip, which has the milk flavored candy stick. The White Teds get a milky star right out of the box. (Or the package.)

Plus I like gummies. More than chocolate. Nothing new there. But — I like my gummies hard and chewy. And right out of the bag, these were not that. Very soft if not too soft. Opened the package, had a few, and then aged the Teddy boys in the pantry for 3 months.


And we’re baaaaaaaaaaack! To 3 months after I opened them. And now?

Still soft.


They were chewier – I needed to work on them a bit, but still not tough. The jelly in the middle was almost gooey, which I didn’t love and reminded me of these filled marshmallow messes we reviewed years ago.

These are maybe a tad too sweet but the milk taste is there and everyone in the family thought these were good. I think the jelly flavors inside were hit and miss. Cherry & apple: pretty clear – I knew what they were. The raspberry, strawberry and peach … had no idea those were the flavors until I translated the German on the back of the package, and lemon wasn’t zesty enough for me. But they were all fruity, and with the milk vanilla-ness, they were original. Which we need more from in our candy; too bad we have to go to Germany to get ’em. I think Jonny and I are going to have to start a candy company soon.

Zolli Candy


  1. matty

    ok spam boy. if you saw THE ADS on the right, i think your bot wouldn’t have written that we don’t monetize our site. Now of course, we don’t do this to MAKE money, yr bot is right about that. Now go away.


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