I think we have to stop reviewing candy.
For one, I’m pretty sure we’ve reviewed everything. Last count we had 617 reviews on this site. The only reason there should be more candies than this is because of a Dentist Conspiracy.
For two, this shit is SO subjective. Take these Orange Crush Candy Twists:
They don’t taste good. Sorry, they don’t. And I assumed my very discerning wife would spit these out. But no, she said she LIKED them because “they are citrus-y”.
Yeah um not really.
Kid #1 said “they’re fine.”
THEY’RE FINE? No, they aren’t fine. Fine is for something you would choose to eat. These aren’t that.
Kid #2 said they’re Ok but they don’t really taste like Crush.
EXACTly. THEY DON’T taste like Crush. They literally don’t taste like their name nor packaging. (This is my favorite kid by the way. She’s the smart one. For now.)
My opinion (the one that matters) is closest to Kid #2’s take, except that she’d eat more of these – and if I wasn’t reviewing these, I wouldn’t touch them again.
The packaging is the first f-up here. Like a can of Orange Crush soda, I wanted these candy twists right when I saw them. I wanted to love them. I was excited to rip open the package and dive in. But when I made that first tear and the aroma – more like an odor – wafted out, it wasn’t good. Somewhat orangey, sure, but more like old OJ concentrate and not bubbling pop. Kid #1 said it reminded her of an Orange Julius drink from the mall. But she’s wrong.
The texture of these is just like Twizzlers, which isn’t a plus. Twizzlers have their merits but it isn’t their “feel.”
Then eating these Crush Twists … the most IMPORTANT PART … it simply doesn’t taste like orange, and they aren’t really that sweet even. Certainly not as sweet as a can of pop. My wife LIKED these because of that…
Which brings me right back to the top. Candy reviewing is subjective. Sadly, for these Orange Crush twists, the subject this time is “What Candy Shouldn’t Taste Like.”