Twizzlers – The best, shittiest candy around!

Good vs. Bad. Microsoft vs. Apple. Monsters vs. Aliens. Coke vs. Pepsi. But most importantly...Twizzlers vs. Red Vines- does the Twiz even stand a chance?

Reviewed by Jonny

July 1, 2008


I’ve thought long and hard about my first review-would it be my most favorite candy ever? Some Haribo, or some other equally delicious Euro fare?

When it was all said & done, I settled on the Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde of the candy world:

Let me first say that I KNOW Twizzlers aren’t licorice. And yes, I’m a huge black licorice fan (love the salty stuff, but…that’s another post! As for “red” licorice, don’t even get me started on Red Vines, and how the aged ones are better!).

However, there’s those times when you’re at Target and inspiration in the form of a huge red bag of twists for like 2 bucks just hits you, so here we are.

Oddly shiny and red, the twiz is a very interesting candy-on the one hand, it’s just kinda shitty. Not firm at all, no real depth of flavor, just a generic strawberry vibe. However, on the other, …sometimes they taste damn good!

I would never put these on my top 10, 20, or even 30 candies, but I bought a pack at a gas station this weekend (I’m obsessed with gas station convenience stores. I keep thinking I’ll find one with a new candy I’d love, but up till now…no luck) and have had the bag sitting around since then.

So here’s the deal: bare bones, no frill, not that interesting but kinda tasty on occasion. Ahh, Twizzlers. Think they’ll adopt that as they’re marketing slogan?

From Matty:
Ahh the Twiz. Not really black licorice, nor red…licorice, for lack of a better moniker. If you gave the Dutch a piece of black twiz and said “oh you gotta try this” they’d guffaw. It’d be like trying to convince the Dead Kennedys that Sum 41 is real punk rock. The Twiz aint licorice. And it’s also true of the red ones. I personally like red vines a lot; I elevate them to the pinnacle of red “licorice” taste. Twiz couldn’t be more unreal tasting, and nothing like the Vines. Twiz is like sweet plastic chews with a splash of fake strawmelon. Still – I kinda like em.


Jonny’s Bottom Line : Equal parts yummy and crappy.

Scott’s Bottom Line : Still high up there at the movie candy counter – but its a toss up between the Twiz and mediocre popcorn. And if the corn is good – foegedaboudit.

Matty‘s Bottom Line : Great if you like you it fake




Zolli Candy


  1. Networkdamin

    Did you ever eat them stoned?

    • Matty

      no comment

  2. Denise Ryan

    How can you say Twizzlers are shitty? Ah – that is way too harsh. While I agree they are only a 5 they are totally fun and a great deal. The quantity!! Yea! As you say, sometimes only a Twizzler will do! Love the new blog – check out mine if you get a chance. Now the Circus Peanut – THAT may be shitty.


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