The Snickers bar (or what used to be called “Marathon Bars” in the UK) is like the super nice guy in high school who had a ton of hot girl “friends” but never got laid. It’s like the tight end on an NFL football team who catches only 3 TD’s a season while quietly leading the league’s 2nd best running game. Snickers is the ol’ standby, Mr. Reliable, the candy bar you can throw in the Halloween bag and no one’s going to complain.
It’s not that Snickers doesn’t get the kudos it deserves, it’s popularity is clear from the amount of money us Americans spend on the bar. It’s listed #4 among the top 25 with annual sales over $441, and global sales topping $2 billion. (That’s billion with a B). So let’s not shed a tear for Mars, who makes the bar – they’re doing fine. But I AM suggesting we can give the bar a bit of a slap on the back every now and then, and no better time than the present, as they have a new version out — Snickers Bites — and I’m guessing this lil’ bag of merriment will do just fine.
Simply put, I like these because they are the Snickers soul in a true bite-sized nug. These are at least 15 times smaller than a full bar, which has more than enough room to get all the ingredients in. These aren’t even the “fun size” snack versions you find on October 31, which are still 2 solid big bites, or 3-4 bites for smaller mouths. These are the size of grapes:
And these little morsels version? All the exact same taste is in there. ALL of it – in this tiny bite. Salt and all. Nice freaking job Mars.
And why do we like these things anyway? Well they got peanuts, nougat, caramel and chocolate. Simple DeMayo. The chocolate is milk, but not too light = good. Maybe most importantly, there’s some salty goodness in there; Snickers isn’t too sweet.
You won’t take a bite of these and then another, you’ll pop em straight in. So easy to eat. Maybe TOO easy to eat. AMC, Cinemark, Regal et al — take note: If I could get bags at the movie theater, they’d be my default chocolate goto every time.