Serpentinas – slithering around bad taste


It’s not fair to blame the masses for the faults of a few. Like, you can’t say every Iranian is a numbnut; just the dumdum leaders who use religion to hide behind a fascist regime stuck in the middle ages. Similarly, just because there seems to be an inordinate amount of crap candy out of Mexico, it’s not like there is no good Mexican candy. On the contrary, we found a few items worth purchasing again. Unfortunately, these Serpentinas aren’t them. Perhaps if I had grown up on these…? M A Ybe if I had been force-fed these as a chillun I could find some semblance of candy satisfaction? As it stands, I couldn’t be more putrified.

Serpentinas are terrible. They are inedible. I put them in my mouth and immediately relegated them to the spitter pile. Wanna re-enactment? Watch any Seinfeld episode where Kramer is lauding some kind of fruit and then tries some inferior piece that Jerry bought and immediately spits it out and says, “no – that’s no good.” Insert me as Kramer. Done.

And this whole ‘is it fig is it Tamarind what is Tamarind anyway but jesus this is just ridiculous looking’ candy is played out in my book. These Serpentinas are thin, rolled up wagon wheels that if you so chose to eat, I think you’d then peel off and put in your mouth. I just took a bite of the whole wheel since they are so sticky and jelly-ish and such a strange brown that I didn’t really want to touch them more then a quick bite. I didn’t want remnants all over my fingers.

Simply: bad. Just awful. If you happen to come upon them in some international foods aisle, I suggest you slowly turn back around and slink away.


7 thoughts on “Serpentinas – slithering around bad taste

  1. I tried these with Matty, and I want to be clear on this one- I couldn’t keep this in my mouth either. It has an unnatural mouthfeel, like cartilage with gooey sticky health food dried fruit smell. It’s disgusting. It should be a zero stars, if we had that rating.

  2. It’s weird, but I get the impression just by looking at these that they must SMELL awful, too. True?

    It also looks nothing like candy. It looks like fruitbread or some bread based product. Yikes.

  3. have to agree with greebs… it just looks WRONG. i mean ive had my fair share of likes of ugly looking candy.. but this.. just looks like some bread thats been baked a little too long… Awful.

  4. The first time I tried them were when I was 8 in 1990 in Chula Vista. I thought they tasted pretty good. I’ve been trying to find them since moving away. They taste like spicy fruit roll ups, nothing bad about them. But again, I grew up on Mexican Candy living in Chula Vista. Pelon Pelo Rico (we called them baby-bottles), Vero Mango Lollipops, Pico, Pulparindo. YUM YUM YUM. And now I can order them all online. Life doesn’t get much better.

    1. It’s true, I am without soul. I prefer to think of myself as an automoton. However, that has no bearing whatsoever on how awful these are. But thanks for reading!

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