Satellite Wafers: Plain ol’ Confusing

Reviewed by Matty

March 17, 2014

America is a wonderful place. The land of opportunity. Ever eaten bacon and chocolate? Thanks go to some fat-loving US of A citizen, right?! Had turducken? You can thank American Football coach-turned-announcer John Madden for that! Eaten a Satellite Wafer?

I said: “Eaten a Satellite Wafer?”


Billed as “nostalgic” candy (…which sucks since I’m older than these things…) and loved by people in “the northeast” (…But what Northeast exactly? These are made in Minnesota. Is that the northeast? I thought that was the midwest…), Gerrit’s wafers, which resemble game pieces, have been around over 40 years, although I’ve never heard of them.


The checker-sized candies are different pastel colors, some in two-tone – one side blue and another pink, for example. Inside are tiny little beads, about the 10th of a size of a Nerd. The outside looks like styrofoam, feels like styrofoam, and as a mini Gurette said, “tastes like styrofoam.” Super consistent!

There are 2 ways to eat these: bite into them and pour the pebble sweeties in your mouth. Or just eat the entire thing in one go. Both feel very unnatural. The outside of the disc-like-playing-piece-sized morsel is like biting an egg carton. It starts to melt away pretty quickly and the beads inside are hard and pretty sweet. Indiscernible fruit flavors are in there, and unlike the “packaging,” the beads don’t melt in your mouth. So you’ll start chewing, and crunching. The experience is exactly as I expected: general sweetness of mini pebbles with styrofoam.


You know how kids love candy? Well here’s what a few kids I know said about this candy:

  • The outside tastes like foam, I hate it.
  • I love the inside, it tastes like Pez.
  • Are you sure you are supposed to eat it?

I think it’s safe to say these aren’t for everybody, and these sure don’t make sense to me. But you go America! Props to whoever decided this is something they want to make and sell, and someone else would buy, because that’s what makes this country great.


  1. jan salbashian

    we buy them at Vic’s Wholesale Candy Store in Milwaukee, WI 240 saucers to the box $11.50 per box.That is a pickup price not a shipped price. You can look up Vic’s Wholesale to find out about the shipping. Our family loves them. Strange stuff, but addicting <3

  2. leslie

    These are different than Flying Saucers. Flying Saucers had sherbet powder inside them, not the candy pearls. 2 different candies.

  3. John perna

    I buy them by case of 3000 at a time lasts about a month

  4. Tammy

    I LOVE these things! I don’t get them often, once every 10 years or so, because I don’t see them around.

    • Elizabeth

      You can find them at most bulk candy stores.

      • Lady49er

        They are at Cost Plus World Market also, but they have the powder instead of the beads, which I prefer.

        • Matty

          love your username

  5. Jamie

    In the UK they’re filled with sherbet powder instead of those weird beads.

  6. Barbara

    When I was a kid there was a candy like this, but it was called Flying Saucers.

    • Michele

      We called them flying saucers too! I LOVE these! I just bought a whole box for my birthday!

    • Angela

      Flying Saucers had a powder inside them. Different candy from the Satellite Wafers.

  7. jonnyguru

    Ha! I’ve tried something like this before and had the same confused reaction. I don’t GET it. Kinda interested in the person who invented it tho. I have so many questions for them.


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