Rowntree’s Randoms: Dan Sends Yummy UK Gummis

When yr friends send you candy - who needs family?

Reviewed by Matty


September 14, 2009


Do you know anyone who uses a post office anymore? I mean besides to get your taxes out? (And if you’re not e-filing yet, let me be the first to remind you that it’s not 1992 anymore.) Maybe without Facebook, email, IM, SMS, twitter, ichat, Jabber, AIM, ICQ, Google Chat and my smartphone, then PER HAPS I’d leave this computer to stay connected with my buddies. But then I’d have to stand in line and talk to people I don’t know. And trust me, I couldn’t not like that less.

My buddy Dan though? well he fucking loves the post office. He must go all the goddamned time. But let me just make this clear – leaving out his creepy love of all things post – Dan is a doll and I love him to death. First off, he makes me CDs. I mean, who makes anyone CDs anymore? The last CD I made was for my wife – before we were married – before the turn of the century – a band called “The Beatles” had just released an “album” called “Led Zeppelin 4” – a man named NIXON was president. This was a long goddamned time ago.

Thankfully Dan’s music taste is good. And yes that does matter to the guy who is uber-particks about his candy and as you may have guessed also a music snob. And this is part of the reason Dan and I became swift friends when I lived in Wales year ago: Candy and Music. We listened to shoegazers. We saw Chapterhouse play in London. We smoked. We ate sweets. It was really quite remarkable – worthy of many remarks actually.

And now, unabated, without a single word from me – he sends me UK sweets. What can you say about a guy like that? Dan you done good.

And the first batch I tried? Roundtree Randoms!
Great name.
And I’ve never seen these before. Doubt they go outside Europe. But from the makers of wine gums and other lovely gummies, I think it’s safe to say these could be good. And they are, and they are indeed in random shapes. I’m looking at a marshmallow sponge-like bottom of a gummi frog in the shape of an ice cream cone; and a yellow clock, and a red shoe or maybe it’s a soccer cleat, and orange sun glasses and .. And me likey.

A+ on the flavor. Proof positive that gummy does not mean no flavor. Au contrarian — these lil bastidges are sweet, and all very different tasting. The orange is orange and not too general boring orange, good and sweet and kinda sticky orange. The yellow is hecka lemony, the weird paw print is also lemony…nay – dare I say limey. (Like the Brit who sent it to me. ahem.) The only issue is the package came with like 12 gummies which is good for about 8 and half seconds in my household and no way in hell was there even a miniscule chance that there would be some left over for Jonny. I hope these cost like 8p. Cuz if they were more, then that’s ridonculoso. If these were like 50p and you get 12 candies…? What kind of cost basis does that leave poor Dan who had to go to the post office with all sorts of randoms to get these Randoms to me?


One thing I did like about the package is that it says on the front that the entire thing is 164 calories, which – if you were watching weight and lets say counting points…well that’s only 3 points. And these are well worth that.

Anyway – you can’t get these in the US. But you can go here to their Facebook page and post a video complaining about how you can’t buy them. Or you can go here and buy straight from the source.

Thanks Dan.

And peeps – sorry for the major lag in posts. Thankfully, Jonny is keeping up the good fight. Hope to be more fully back on the wagon in the next few weeks.



Zolli Candy


  1. Dan

    I’ve been accused of a lot of things in my time, but having a ‘creepy love of all things post’ is the weirdest – we still have a reassuring affection for getting things put through our letter box over here. Glad you rated the Randoms anyway, and for your info an almighty rip-off at 45p (wish you could buy separate bags of the mallow ice cream cones though). Oooooooh the postman’s here – must dash. x

  2. Jonny

    These look like I need to try some.


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