For a guy who acts like a child and insists on consuming kid’s candy – it’s really quite remarkable that I love coconut with my chocolate. It’s so goddamn adult of me. Almond Joy? I’ll make out with it. Mounds? I just made love to it in my mind.

So when I first unwrapped these Idaho Spuds, which are covered in what turned out to be pretty tasty chocolate sprinkled with my naughty mistress coconut, I thought “yes. YES. Come to me dahhlink.”

And then when I broke open the candy…I got that squinty look of confusion; the same face I made when I read how Sarah Palin tried to coherently explain why quitting her job as Alaska guv’nuh will actually make her a better leader elsewhere down the line. You know – it’s the, “um, you’re fucking SHITTIng me…right?” look. First off, these spuds look w e t. Can you see the dew drops in there?
What is that? Look, If it ain’t caramel or gummi juice then I don’t want wet. Perhaps it was user error. Hell, I rode my bike home today and it was warm and this was in my backpack — so maybe if it had seen the broadside of a fridge it wouldn’t be so moisty? Who knows. Either way: turn off.

I peel off a little of the chocolate outside, make sure there are cling-ons of coconut, and I eaty – as I said above – I likey. But when I dive into the middle…ew not that great. It looks like it might be the fluff of a Rocky Road bar – you know, marhsmallowy and light. But this is the opposite – it’s spongey and really dense. I ate only about 3/4 of the bar (mama got the other part) and it was heavy. I feel full. Pukey full.

Interestingly, the actual taste of the eggy densey wet nougat isn’t bad though. It’s kinda mocha-y, which surprised me. But the cement mixture of meringue just wasn’t for me. I DID like the old school packaging though, which is perfect if you eat packaging.

My rec is to buy one if you feel like a coconut party, then take all the outside off and throw away the rest. Or better yet, just buy a Mounds and tongue kiss it.