I deliberated as to whether or not I should review these things, as I KNEW that procuring them would be a near impossible task for you sad sacks. And I say sad sacks with a lot of love, being one myself.
They’re from my German pal, and they’re flipping fantastic:
Being the non-German reading dude that I am, I had no way of knowing what these little lovelies were all about. A traditional hard candy? Chew? Sour? No? Only one way to find out, right? Take a gander:
All mysteries were solved as I put the first one in my mouth (“That’s what SHE said!”). These are pretty unique, at least for America. They’re dextrose candies-think Sweetarts-in a very light candy shell. Only…that’s not where the fun stops. They’re also an “effervescent” candy. That means bubbly (think “Zots” or fizzy candies like that).
The combination of the pressed dextrose and the fizz just kicks major American ass-at least, it kicked mine. Another interesting note about them is that these candies aren’t “sour” per se, but there’s a nice sour effect you get from the combination of the slightly tart dextrose and the effervescence. Yum.
As soon as I tasted a few (then the whole bag, in one sitting), I tried to search out a comparable candy that we can get around these parts, but it’s not in the cards for us. DAMN YOU, AMERICA!!
(Side note: I’m sure in Germany, having a company name like “Hitschler” means absolutely nothing to anyone, and doesn’t summon thoughts of Adolf Hitler, scourge of the world. Here, however, there’s NO WAY your company could be called “Hitschler”. None.)
So here’s where we’re at: these are addictive, tasty, fresh, different, and calorie-wise, not so bad at all for ya. But we can’t get them. Anywhere, which is odd. I usually (if I don’t say so myself!) find SOMEWHERE for you guys to buy from, even if it has exorbitant shipping rates. In this instance though…we’re just gonna have to play the waiting game.
Don’t worry though-the world’s getting smaller, not larger. These will be available one day, and when that day comes, I’ll let you know. If any of you find an online store that has these, PLEASE let us Candygurus know-there’s never BEEN anything this important.
And to my German pal…well, another winner from you. Now you know what to get me for Hannukah! (Is it weird to get “Hitschler’s” for Hannukah? Or is it perfect irony?)