Happy Halloween! These are Terrible Coconut Candies!

Bad coconut candy may scare the hell out of you. Run!

Reviewed by Matty

October 31, 2012

Visit DylansCandyBar.com

My first review in weeks if not months. So sad it’s been that long. I blame you, dear readers, for not making me feel wanted.

Actually, that’s totally unfair. Let’s be real. It’s because my work is unsanity and we just moved houses and all my energy has been sopped up in reality.

But I’m back bitches!

Wouldn’t it just be perfect if i was reviewing a candy that was simply wonderful? Yeah. good luck.

These things are abhorrent.

When I picked them up in the Fort Lauderdale airport, I thought, “How cute. So Floridian. Coconut and key lime.” They were just one flavor of a few, and there were loads on the mini shelf at the newstand, which I should have taken as a sign to keep away but instead I thought “the perfect treat for us tourists to take home!”


See that green color? It looks bad, huh. It is.
It’s supposed to taste like lime, but it’s pedestrian, lime-extract lime. No depth.
See the macaroon type texture? It looks like there’s real coconut and maybe it is, but it’s more of a chewy-gooey coconut. Which works great in Almond Joy but not with mediocre chocolate and weak ol’ lime.

Also, there’s a strange moisture in these that when you bite in, it kinda feels like it wrings out in your mouth.

Are these a candy? A cookie?
Who cares. They’re awful. Boo.

Zolli Candy

1 Comment

  1. Amanda

    Blech. Perfectly scary for Halloween though, you have to admit. They look like chocolate covered bile.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *