Have you ever heard a guy say, “Man, I sure could use a smooth chocolate truffle right now.” ? This dude sure hasn’t. Yet, when the experts at Gail Ambrosius Chocolatier sent us a note asking if we wanted to try their wares, I still said yes since – well, it IS candy, and well, I AM a pushover and of course I’ll try anything once, espesh if it’s free.

Readers of this site don’t need me to tell them that I’d reach for gummi poop before I reached for a chocolate anything. So you know where I’m leaning before I even took a bite of these things.

Gail and her team sent us 6 “classic collection” truffles and 3 bags of chocolate covered nuts and cherries. The corresponding literature said these were handmade, fresh, all organic, all natural with no preservatives and had to be eaten right away, like how you would eat something you bought from a bakery…wow. So —

Let’s truff out, shall we?

The truffles aren’t too big – same size you always see. Maybe even a tad smaller than something like that god awful godiva crap which is big, sickly sweet and over creamy.

So what I did was cut them all in half. Partly because I’m scared of truffles. They tend to be uber rich and thick, looking like 500 calories and 20 grams of fat per piece. Makes me half bulimic just looking at them. I also cut them in half to share with Mrs. Guru since, as we all know, chicks dig the chocolate.

Let’s get down to business by boiling it up for you: these truffles are goddamn good.

Caramel Sprinkled with Sea Salt: Um. 9 out of 10 points for just using sea salt. I’d make love to sea salt if it was legal. These things are Awesome. Great caramel flavor. And not too sweet or heavy at all. Did you get that last bit? That’s a major theme with Gail’s truffles: they aren’t heavy or too sweet. Which are usually the 2 adjectives I use to describe truffles. So we’re starting strong.

Espresso: Also great. Again not to sweet, with real coffee flavor like they made a strong cup and dumped it in. Not like ice cream coffee flavor.

Cointreau: Good too. Orangey, and Mrs Guru and I agree that orange and chocolate just aint that great. Question: is Cointreau orangey? News to me.

Raspberry: Ok this is the first that felt like an old school truffle. A bit heavier than the rest but the dark chocolate is so great that it’s still not Too heavy. Oh that reminds me – all of these are dark chocolate and thus they have an adult taste, not the for-babies-and-little-girls milky, light and creamy feel. The raspberry flavor is right on and tart. Tastes real. Really real.

Lucille’s Vanilla: ok here we go with the first dissapointment. Sorry Lucille, but yr idea of vanilla is too weak for me. I couldn’t really taste the vanilla; it was slightly there but I’m in LOve with vanilla. I’d have sex with it. These truffles I’d maybe make out with but I ain’t pushing past 2nd base with them.

Cognac: strange. Good, but tasted more like ginger (of course, it had ginger on top of it) than cognac I think. though…what does cognac taske like…brandy right? The alcohol was an undertone for sure. But I loved the Ginger and I tasted more of that. Perhaps these should be called Gingnac!

After the truffles – we went for the nuts and cherries.

Mrs. Guru and I we’re split on the nuts covered in chocolate.

I liked. She didn’t. You could really taste the nut. I knew the almonds were almond and not just chocolate covered “nuts.” The nut taste wasn’t overshadowed by the chocolate because – again – these weren’t uber sweet.

It was like they had an almost bittersweet chocolate thin shell. And not really a shell, more like a smattering, dabbing, or spreckling of chocolate.

The final confections are chocolate covered dried cherries.

We split on these too – these aren’t so much for me. They are chalky and dry. The chocolate isn’t very sweet and that works well with the sweetness of the cherry but it’s still dusty. No thanks.

And there you go, good readers. Some very good chocolate. Truffles that could actually make me want to eat truffles again.

It appears that Gail does all her chocolate making in Wisconsin, and her shop is there. So …um … most likely you’ll want to buy online. Unless you live outside of this island we call the US of A. Cuz they aint shipping internationally. But if you live in America, and you need some chocolate – buy these. Here.