Evolve: What to Do When You Don’t have Candy

Time to move forward. Oh, and eat candy. Oh and also these protein things.
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I was kind of excited for my new idea. I haven’t been getting free candy lately and I’m not buying a ton on my own, so I resolved to do sweets reviews of what I can buy at my work cafe! Clever no?

Then I go there today to look at what kind of semi-organic, all natural high cacOA chocolate bar I could procure and all that’s there is this:

It’s called an “Evolve Plant-Based Protein Bar“, Trail Mix flavor. I mean. Are people buying Trail Mix flavor? Besides me of course, who essentially had to?

(By the by, not in love with the brand look and feel. It’s veiled, and if the logo didn’t essentially define itself for you — see the word ‘evolve’ below the bigger letters? – you’d think the name was … Elveo maybe?)

Yes, I know it’s a protein bar and not candy. However, it’s used similarly to candy: when you’re hungry, when you crave something a little sweet, and you want something tasty. Logo be damned, these Evolve Plant-Based Protein Bars are really good.

The taste of these isn’t really ‘fruity’ but fruit flavors come through. I definitely taste dried cranberries and the pineapple juice syrup (listed on the ingredients) has an overtone in there. There are multiple “butters” in the bar — almond, cashew, even cocoa. So folks with nut allergies – not for you. There is pea protein (can we just say there are peas in it?) and quinoa flakes, dates, pumpkin seeds… you get the picture. To me, they taste almost exactly like the RX Blueberry bar. Even though there are no blueberries in Evolve’s bar. And I LOVE the RX blueberry bar. I should f*(&ing review that huh.

Beyond the healthy ingredients, The Evolve Protein Bars are:
– Non-GMO
– Dairy-free
– Gluten-free
– Soy-free, and
– Palm Oil-free (someone tell me what I don’t know about Palm Oil’s bad traits, please.)

The consistency of the Evolve bars is thick but not like a brick. It’s also not like saw dust, which tends to be the requisite complaint of protein bars. These got a tinge of gooey to it, kinda sticky. At 240 calories, 10g of protein and 11g of sugar, it’s not not candy-ish. Right?

Perhaps Trail Mix flavor has you scratching your head. And maybe you are simply confused that I keep reviewing protein bars on a candy reviews web site. Hey, those are all perfectly logical reactions. However, these little bars are tasty. And if the allergens don’t physically harm you, I bet you’ll like these, and you’d buy them more than once. Maybe their other flavors – peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter straight, and almond cherry are more your style. Either way, I say go forth and buy, young naturalists.

Zolli Candy


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