Caveman Asks: Can Eat Candy on Paleo Diet?

Cn i haz chokolit?

Not a new question for us: Which chocolate is gluten-free? So I’m re-upping a pre-pandemic review to help you find the goods without wheat (and other grains.

Caveman foods exist. Not in fossil form either. It’s a company in the Bay Area of Northern California that makes Paleo-friendly snacks. And it’s about time the Gurus dive in and give you our uneducated but utterly readable take on one of their bars: Dark Chocolate and Almond Coconut.

For those not in the know, the Paleo diet became popular a few years back by suggesting people eat foods our neanderthal ancestors consumed: lean meats, fish, fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds. Paleo dieters can’t eat dairy, grains and legumes. So, no bread. Sad.

The bar is nuts

As you can see below, the bar looks healthy as hell. Not sure why they don’t mention sunflower seeds in the bar’s name because you can see them throughout, and besides chocolate, they are the predominant flavor. (Plus, I love seeds – no need to hide them.)

This bar reminds me a bit of a Kind Bar, which I’m generally fond of, although I don’t really consider it candy. The Paleo bars, marketed as “Nutrition Bars,” definitely have more of a candy feel. Perhaps it’s because the chocolate was sweeter than I expected. I also really like the whole almonds, although I’d take more coconut (the Gurus may be in the minority here). Kind Bars are also chock full of ‘whole’ ingredients. IE, neither company pounds them into a flour dust.

This dark chocolate almond Caveman Paleo nutrition bar (whoa that’s a mouthful) was a good size (ironically) and did what I need a bar like this to do: taste good and take away my hunger.

These Caveman Paleo bars are Non-GMO, meaning they aren’t made with genetically modified organisms, which some labs have found unhealthy. Plus they are gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free and Kosher. Still, they are filled with allergens: the aforementioned Almond — so, tree nuts — and although without dairy, they are made in a facility that makes other dairy products. Not outright organic, but there are organic ingredients in here like agave syrup for sweetener.

Next time I go fad diet on my ass, I’m stocking up on Caveman’s Paleo goods. You can too. The company also has non-sweet snacks like jerky. So if someone can send me some “Hot Meat”, which is on sale right now, I’d love it. Softball thrown. Comments ensue.

Zolli Candy


  1. Matty

    i know diets are for rubes

  2. Robert Greber

    Well, I for one don’t care at all about gluten free stuff. And, I’m not on a diet and don’t intend to, ever. Who cares? The bars do sound good though, and healthy.

  3. Matty

    How come no one commented on this super clever post?


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