Bitter Crunky Bar

After eating this Crunky, I'm feeling a tad cranky. Also, I'd like to Crunk.

Reviewed by Jonny

October 23, 2013


One of my friends recently gave me this chocolate bar.  “Bitter” chocolate with rice puffs.  Sounds like an elevated Nestle Crunch, no?



I don’t often get to try Japanese candy, so I was very excited about this.


Oh who the hell am I kidding.  I don’t care where candy’s from, I eat it all.  But in the interests of appearing “cultured”, let’s just assume that I got more excited about this than usual.



So far, so good.  “I’ve got the silver ticket, I’ve got the silver ticket!”, no one sang.



oh, HELL yes.  Those puffs are calling out to me.

crunky-unwrappedAnd there she is.  Simple enough, right?  But as with everything, looks only count for so much.

The Crunky is weird.  Weird in that you’re expecting a smooth, dark chocolate crispy rice festival.  But that’s not what you get.  First, there’s simply no way this what we Yanks think of as “dark” chocolate.  It isn’t bitter, and bears more of a resemblance to a milk chocolate Hershey’s bar.  But…it’s not the greatest chocolate either.  Almost all chocolate I’ve ever had from Asian countries sucks.  Sorry, but it does.  They crush grape candy in every way, and certainly know their way around the fizzy/hard candy/bizarre world of candy.  But chocolate?  Meh.  Leave that to the UK and boutique American brands.

Aside from the mediocre “dark” chocolate, there’s something far more sinister at play here.  The rice crips have a decidedly savory flavor to them-something I can’t put my finger on, but if pressed, I’d call wheat.  There’s a wheatiness that, for me, dominated the flavor.  With a Nestle Crunch, the rice crisps really taste like rice in all of their “this reminds me of eating a bowl of Rice Crispies” glory. Here however, there’s a distraction, whether it’s wheat related or not.  Whatever the source, the bar suffers.

I’m not gonna recommend that you pick this particular bar up, but I WILL recommend that you all keep giving your friendly neighborhood Candy Gurus samples of crazy candies you find around the world.  Sooner or later, we always find a winner.


Not today, though.


Zolli Candy


  1. Manon Nonam

    I know this is a veeeery old post – but I just need to tell you that this isn’t a fair verdict as it is NOT a rice crispy chocolate, nor does the bitter refer to the cocoa (I guess). These are MALT bits, which are naturally somewhat “scratchy” in the throat and somewhat bitter tasting 🙂

    I love it, not for it’s chocolate vibe, but for it’s maltiness and adorable crunchy-crispiness.

    • Jonny

      Hey, we respect your opinion! We never claimed to be smart, and insigh like yours is helpful. Maybe I’ll try it again. Thanks for reading!

    • matty

      Anyone who calls candy “adorable” wins in my book. I’m stealing that adjective for my next review.

  2. Amanda

    Gag! You are SO RIGHT. Asian chocolate is always always gross! Why is this?? Do we care? Just avoid. BLAH


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