Novelty candy. I swing both ways on them. Sometimes kinda fun! Many times, super crappy!

Here we have eFrutti’s Butter Popcorn Gummi Candy.

They are only gummi in the sense they’re not hard candy, (boiled sweets for our UK friends), and they certainly ain’t chocolate. But ‘gummi’? That’s a huge f&*^ing stretch.

1. They look like teeth.

2. They smell like buttered popcorn and they taste like… well I guess a really sweet corn-type of thing, with butter overtones, I’ll grant them that. Hearkens my tastebuds back to the Jelly Belly buttered popcorn flavor, which, incidentally, I don’t like. So these are kinda like those jelly beans, only bigger, and staler, and chalkier in a way – or maybe it’s just drier/less moist…? But moist candy sounds awful. And these? Well these are awful. Strangely, when I bit into the first one, for some reason I didn’t mind it so much. Perhaps I was just trying to get my cand-i-fied head to focus on flavor and texture, and I didn’t actually think about whether I liked them. After #2 and #3 though, I’m done. Forever.

3. Cuz yeah these suck. They make my whole face contort into that “oh-please-jesus-no-I-have-to-spit-these-out-move-out-of-the-way” look.

Friend and colleague Paige brought these back from Dylan’s Candy Bar in NYC, so if for some reason this review made you think, “you know what? I’m gonna go out and eat the shit out of those fake-teeth looking chalky non-gummy gummis!” Then please, be my guest. I, on the other hand, will politely decline. In spades. (And in hearts for that matter.)