I’m gonna get crucified for this review, I can feel it.  No, not by you, faithful and peace loving readers–from the other Gurus, Matty & Scotty.  They’re not gonna like what I’m about to say.

First, the context.  Check these out, Haribo Vampires:

Hard to see what’s going on with them through the bag, but here’s a closer look:

That’s a damn fine looking candy, if I don’t say so myself.  We all know Haribo-we all love it.  Sometimes though, they’re guilty of simply reshaping gummies, putting them in a different bag, and calling it a day.  Sure, they’re still good, but…a little shady.  This time though, that’s not the case.  These are a very different beast.

See the black “body” of the bats?  That’s licorice flavored gummy.  The wings are fruit flavored gummy.  Put the two together and you have licoruit.  Or Fruice.  Either way, it’s a distinct taste that several European candy companies have been making recently.  When you first start eating, you get that fruit tang, and then, behind it, you slowly start tasting the licorice.  They don’t really do battle with either, but instead compliment each other pretty nicely.

So…what’s my complaint?  I’m not really sure, but what I do know is that I don’t really like eating a ton of these in a sitting, and that’s not normal for me.  My taste buds just can’t decide if they’re ready to enjoy fruit, or ready to deal with the force of licorice, which I LOVE, but is some strong ass shit.  Matty and Scotty however, can’t get enough of these.  They’d make sweet love to them if they could.  And I get it–not the love making part (those guys have problems), but I get the allure.  The problem is, in reality, it’s just…confusing.  Mixing the two flavors (despite being a fan of weird flavor combos) is just a bit too opposite for me.

Yet I can’t deny that I “like” these on some level.  I guess these would be the ultimate after dinner digestive for me- you get one after a nice meal.  One and out.  In that context, this might be the best thing ever.  Or, if you’re a licorice apologist and just can’t get enough, these probably will rock your world.  But for me, they’re just “eh”.  Pretty good, but…there’s something crucial missing for me.

The good news is that Matty and Scotty can now have a more private menage a trois with a bag of these.

And no, we don’t want video documentation.