Hey, Happy New Year! To kick off 2020, let’s take a look at the candy version of what you’ve been drinking too much of for the last few weeks. Blessed bubbly.

I’ve tried a few champagne flavored gummies, most notably the “champagne bears” from Sugarfina. They’re truly excellent, offering a unique taste that’s hard to pin down. Yeah, there’s an essence of sparkling wine in them, but that’s not the main flavor. It’s more of a tart, brisk…berry tinged citrus? Regardless, they’re good.

These though? I mean first….look at them.

What’s going on over there in France? These look like sad demonic penis fingers. They do NOT look like bottles, which might be the most common gummy shape around. Ultimately the look isn’t important to me, but…these just really look wrong. And I don’t like it.

As always though…everything can change after trying one. And change it did!

For the worse. These bear no resemblance to champagne gummies I’ve had in the past flavor-wise. There’s a slightly disturbing sheen to these, and it comes out in the taste: I detect notes of…oily and creamy. Then there’s the flavor of the gummy which honestly….I didn’t even focus on long enough to discern, because there’s a gross finishing flavor that put me off even more.

This is atypical for a gummy made in France. The ingredients check out for the most part, all natural, all the things we usually look for. But the specific execution of these left a lot to be desired for me. Why seek out an exotic gummy from France if it doesn’t have anything to make it stand out from the trash?

Even if it’s made as easy as grabbing a bag while waiting in line to check out at TJ’s, …it’s still not worth it.