Sweetriot Nibs. Dunked in Chocolate.

Can a poorly named, hideously packaged chocolate item even BEGIN to interest Jonny?

Reviewed by Jonny

December 13, 2011

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Normally I’m not really a chocolate reviewer, but Matty got me this tin of 100% dark cacao nibs dunked in 65% dark chocolate, so I have to.  It’d be rude not to.

Let’s start with the good.  The tin is cool looking, and functions well.  Now to the bad.  The design looks like Prince puked it up, and it’s confusing to know what these things really are.  In fact, I really didn’t get it at all, until I opened ‘er up and took a look:

Whoah.  Before we get to taste, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.  You know what I’m talking about – nibs.  Nib?  What IS a nib?  Well, when cocoa beans are roasted, cracked, then shelled, they become nibs.  They’re like little crunchy earthy thingies.

The process is to take those thingies and dunk them in 65% dark chocolate.  The result?  Outstandingness.  For so many reasons, really.  First, it’s all about dark chocolate-we won’t get into that debate.  But the thing I really appreciate about these is their impact/size ratio.

These are tiny.  The size of a tic-tac, even smaller.  Yet, they pack a wallop.  Complex, earthy, sweet, AND crunchy.  Best part?  Each one tastes like you just ate a square of an amazing chocolate bar.  You get that lasting mouthfeel that dark chocolate brings, that grainy earthiness that’s so hard to describe.  Despite tasting so huge, they only pack 1-2 calories a piece!!  Are you hearing me backfat???  I said 1-2 calories EACH!!

Sitting down and eating 10 of these is satisfying, seriously.  And they give you a shit ton in the tin, so it’s a great value.  Overall?  These are winning.  I WILL buy them again, and likely will keep them on hand for a quick chocolate fix.

I can’t tell if I like the name “Sweetriot” or not.  It harkens me back to the band “10,000 Maniacs”, which I thought would be hardcore punk trio but turned out to be a hippy chick doing a weird dance covering Cat Stevens.  I’m not sure I think Sweetriot is a fitting name for this product or not, that’s gonna be left to you guys.  But I highly recommend these.  It should be noted that these are “all natural”, gmo-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, and most importantly, Kosher.  Phew!

It’s good having friends like Matty.  Oh, also, I beat his ass in our Fantasy Football playoffs last night – score one for Jonny!

Zolli Candy


  1. the candy fan

    I agree on the packaging. It’s hideous. If you have a Trader Joe’s in your neck of the woods, they make a TJ-branded version of these that come in slightly cheaper at just $2 a pop. Don’t know if Sweetriot is the company behind the generic, but they’re awesome. Also, the packaging isn’t nearly as off-putting.

  2. cybele

    I love nibs, but mostly the coated ones like this. It’s a real chocolate kick … though because they’re a natural, mostly unpr0cessed product, you can get a bad one, which really spoils it. Fibery, burnt or greasy, it’s like getting that bad peanut.

  3. Andrea

    You didn’t mention the caffeine wallop that cacao nibs deliver. Yowza!

  4. matty

    This is the worst review I ever read. Sure it’s funny and it appears that this candy is good.
    However, the fact that I lost in fantasy football this year has everything to do with Mike Vick laying a big fat turd on the gridiron and nothing at all to do with the worthiness of any of my opponents; in this case, Jonny and his shitshine team.

  5. Josh

    I’m not a fan of the texture. Flavor is good but it reminds me of a chocolate covered half popped popcorn kernal.


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