Do you know Dusty?
There’s a few things you need to know about Dusty.
1. He’s a hellofa nice guy.
2. He’s an excellent technical engineer. Need a patch bay wired up or a smoke machine fixed? No problem.
3. He’s a rock n’ roll icon. OK, maybe not icon status yet, but his band, Wooden Shjips rock. Sort of like drone-y neo-psychadelic post-rocky delight. Dusty rocks the bass. They tour all over the world, so yes kind UK readers, you too can check them out. Hell, some of you might have already.
4. He’s a candy fiend. Like me, Dusty enjoys picking up the random candies he finds on his travels. Being much cooler than me though, he occasionally will drop something off in my office for me to check out.
And that’s all the reasons why we love Dusty. Let’s get to his latest offering: “Super Lemon”.
The bag, like most sour candy that’s trying to impress upon us how severely gnarly their candy is, warns us of all the different levels of sour that these run of the mill looking hard candies have to offer. The outside of the candy holds “lemon taste powder”. Then, the next layer of the candy is “mild lemon candy”. Finally, the core of the candy is (of course) “super lemon candy”. There’s a diagnostic picture on the bag explaining this, that’s how damn serious these Asian candy makers are.
It’s interesting the way the draw of sour candy is how sour it is. So manufacturers like to warn people against consuming their product (are you SURE you can handle the burn? DO NOT EAT IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE Y OUR TONGUE TURNING INTO A FLAMING, SHREDDED VERSION OF ITS FORMER SELF). Just once, I’d like to see a bag that says “come on and eat it! It’s so sour! You’ll love it, I swear! Seriously!”. If you could actually have a recording that was triggered when you picked up the bag saying this, and in a fey lisp-y voice, it’d really sell, right? Probably not, but it’d make me laugh my ass off.
Alright, enough already…what’s the verdict on Super Lemon?
On first suck, it reminds me of a warhead-it’s that sour. But this sour actually holds some nice lemon flavor. Sadly though…it lasts for maybe 8 seconds. Seriously. That’s the sour part of our story, peeps. That’s it. After that point, it’s a relatively mild lemon hard candy. No insane sour core, despite the tactical diagnostic.
They’re good, but…well, I’ve had better (that’s what SHE said!). On a related note, I gave my pop one of these a few weeks ago, as he’s a candy head himself. A few days ago, we were all having dinner and the topic of sour candy came up. With a serious look on his face, he turned to me and said “Ya know, SOME of these candies just have sour powder on the outside-they’re not actually sour themselves” as if he was filling me in on some criminal activity he’d discovered since he last saw me.
Yeah Dad. I know. But he has a point-it’s kinda lame. How hard is it to actually make the candy itself sour? No one’s asking for “rip my tongue into painful shreds” sour, we just want some good ‘ol fashioned sour goodness, from first lick to last. When I stumble on to something that can fit this bill, I want to share it with you guys.
Wish it could b e now, but it isn’t. In a week or so, I’ll present the ultimate lemon drop. Another one of my co-workers Dre turned me on to them, and they are the real deal. Sweet, sour, …a delight the whole way through. But that’s for another time.
For now I’ll say this. Are Super Lemon’s good? Sure. Would I buy them if I were craving lemony sour goodness? Yes. Click below.
I’ll say this though to Dusty: Keep on keepin’ on, dude. When you go to Germany, don’t forget about good ‘ol Jonny Guru. When you stop off in New Zealand to rock the alt kids, keep us in mind. When you head to Mexico….um…well…maybe just enjoy the surf yourself while you’re there. I still haven’t been impressed with a Mexican candy, but I’m ready damn it! I’m ready!