If you order a steak with mushroom sauce, you wanna see some Morels on top.

If you buy a $14 Margarita with nice Tequila in it, you want to see fresh squeezed lime juice going in there as well.

And when you eat candy, friends, you should want it to be as “all natural” as possible.  My reasons are selfish, and not necessarily “PC”- I don’t really care SO much that it’s better for me.  What I care about it is the taste.  And real things taste better than fake things.  Ergo sum, Q.E.D.  It’s just a fact.

So color me tickled when Puredent asked if they could send us some samples.  Note the semi-witty and ironic packaging.  Also note…the way the look packages exactly like most other gums on the market.  Not sure why they went that route, I know I wouldn’t have:

The big hook here is that there’s no aspartame in the ingredients.  I like that.  Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some aspartame, in fact, I used to drink a 2 liter bottle of diet cola to my head almost daily.  But the Mrs. has the whip cracked on me now, and being healthier than me, she’s banned Aspartame from the house as much as she can.  Sure, I’m fatter now, but apparently she doesn’t care.  But I care about Aspartame too-not for me, but for my son and heir, Jonny Guru Jr.  I don’t want him ingesting that crap, no question about it. Problem is, he’s cuckoo for the gum.  Can’t get enough of it.

When’s the last time you tried to shop for NOT sugar-free gum?  It’s hard.  There’s almost none around, except a few varieties of Bubble Yum and Bubblicious.  Not that interesting.  So when the Puredent arrived, we were all intrigued.  Like I said, it looks packaged like most other sugar free gum in bubble pack.  It also takes pretty much exactly like it.  It comes on 2 flavors, Spearmint and Peppermint, and although they’re good, there’s nothing special about them.  The gum sticks to your teeth just a little more than I’m used to, but not in a bad way. In a word, it’s …gum.

So essentially, this stuff is the same as say, Extra, or Orbit, or any of those varieties.  The difference, and the sole marketing strategy, is the ingredients.  Here’s what I like: tree bark.  Why?  I have no idea, but I know what tree bark is, and if they’re using it in gum, it’s fine with me.  It’s actually what they use to kill bad breath.  Coincidentally, I also chew on a tree when I’m feeling not-so-fresh.  But here’s what I don’t like: the inclusion of “natural flavors” in the ingredients list.  Anyone who’s savvy about reading ingredients knows that “natural flavors” is code among the food industry for…well, …no one can ever be sure.  Why?  Because natural flavors can include a shitload of not so good things for you.  My beef is this: if you’re marketing your gum as a healthy natural alternative, why not LIST all of your ingredients to prove to us that you’re on the level?  A minor annoyance, but…if you’re gonna dance in the all-natch dance party, you best be ready to represent y our ingredients-all of them.  Right?

Despite the “natural flavors” fiasco, this gum gets pretty good marks.  Would I buy it over a big boy brand for my kid?  Yes.  For sure.  Would I buy it for me?  No.  If I’m gonna have a chew, I need some big time flavor, Aspartame be damned.  Never said I wasn’t a hypocrite.

Bottom line, end of the day, these pass the kids and adults test.  Sure, girls can’t handle the peppermint, but don’t worry! I don’t have daughters, so I don’t care.

Puredent is a good product–despite not being terribly exciting–that we can endorse wholeheartedly.  When you’re trying to make things better for people without sacrificing taste, you should be noted for that.

Duly noted.