Remember those stores in the 80’s that sold nothing but flavored popcorn? I’m not sure if they were country-wide, but I had one not far from my house. Me, my brother and our friend Jamie would frequent the place…just about every weekend we could. Jamie would head over the sweet side of the store, where they had every flavor from apple to raspberry to God knows what. Me and my bro though, would always go to the other side of the store- the savory side.
Delights like sour cream & onion and cheddar cheese were great-but the store also had oddities like bacon & cheese, jalapeno, ranch dressing, etc.
It was frikkin’ awesome.
So about 2 years ago, a crave bulb went off in my head and suddenly, 25 years later, I wanted some-nay, I NEEDED some. First came the store front search. Nothing. These stores don’t exist anymore, yet I can go to three different Starbucks without moving more than 200 yards and get the same shitty cup of coffee. No, the world doesn’t need gourmet popcorn anymore, or say sayeth the economy.
But the internet begs to differ. As soon as I googled “gourmet popcorn”, I found a few sites. I bought. I tried. I liked. Really, I love it all, so it’s hard for me to find a miss. But then, a delivery came to the door of the Candygurus from Popcornopolis.com. Check it:
Umm…WOW. When Jonny Jr. saw it, his only question was whether Daddy was going to share some of the caramel popcorn “this time”. That’s because after we bought a tub of it from some kid selling for a fund raiser, Daddy ate it all. I have no defense here. Check out the flavors that were inside:
See the cheddar cheese bag in there? No? Oh, right. That’s ’cause I inhaled it right off the bat. Let me tell you something about it: it’s fantastic. It’s so damn cheddar-y, the flavor burst with every bite. I’m not kidding when I say it’s addictive. I honestly believe that there’s trace evidence of crack cocaine in it, because I have no other explanation of why I simply couldn’t put the bag down, or why I clawed my wife when she tried to eat some. That’s the same behavior I exhibit when folks try to snack off of my family rock.
Clearly, though, Popcornopolis’ specialty is their sweet varieties. Included in this shipment was classic Caramel, Chocolate Caramel, Almond Caramel, Cinnamon Toast, Kettle Corn, White Chocolate Caramel, and “Zebra”.
Oh, Zebra. Why must you exist? Again, we opened this bag and plucked out a few pieces of the dark and white chocolate laden caramel popcorn. The deep combination of sweet and salty is so effective-you get that sweet treat taste, and that salty “I need more now” reaction. It’s sort of the same taste profile for me as chocolate covered pretzels-it doesn’t sound particularly interesting, but once you start, you can’t stop.
One thing was clear though- I needed to spread the goods around the Candygurus family to get feedback from others. My bro tried Zebra and Almond Caramel. Matty Guru tried Cinnamon Toast and White Chocolate Caramel. The ants in my cupboard tried the chocolate caramel corn (Thanks a lot, assholes! As if it was possible, I hate you even more now!). Clearly though, everyone loved it, even the brainless jerky ants.
What I really want now is a savory sampler from Popcornopolis.com. Flavors like Nacho Cheese, Sour Cream & Onion, and of course their Cheddar are what really does it for me. Oh, and lest I forget, let me comment on the Kettle Corn. We’ve all had this at Farmer’s Markets and fairs, right? Well, prepare to be trumped. This Kettle Corn is like fair Kettle Corn on it’s best behavior: each perfect shaped piece (and I mean that-there was very little dregs in my bag) is a crunchy, salty, slightly sweet delight. These went fast as well.
In short, if you’re a fan of flavored popcorn, you need to check out Popcornopolis.com. You can buy tins of course, but if you’re like me, you probably just want the flavors you want in bulk bags. Sure, it’s harder to explain to your friends why you have 8 gallon-sized bags of popcorn in your closet, but it’s more popcorn yumminess for yourself, so who cares?
So, in lieu of the rad popcorn stores that dissapeared with the Atari 5200 of the 80’s, Popcornopolis.com is here to provide what you need. Tell ’em Jonny sent ya…
Just found your blog and think you’re hilarious! Nice work dude; keep it up! 🙂
I just found your blog, and think you’re hilarious! Nice work dude!
Seriously, it’s a danger zone. I don’t know whether to :
B. Jump for joy
C Cry, upon looking at my newly added backfat.
Usually it’s a combo.
Can I live in your house? Just so I can eat all the scraps of your tasting adventures…
This stuff is good. And I too couldn’t put it down. My only rant is that it was gloppy. I could barely discern the popcorn, which ended up being a tiny little vehicle flavors of white chocolate, caramel and cinnamon toast to ride all over. Still good though. Still damn good.