Pascall Pineapple Lumps

We're trying to break the stigma of "lumps" in general

Really bad naming choice. There’s never a “great” situation where the word lumps is used.  “There’s lumps in my gravy”. “We found a lump on your leg”. “Your nickname is Lumpy”. All bad.


Pineapple Lumps!

An unnamed member of the Candygurus went a-travellin’ to New Zealand WITHOUT ME, but was thoughtful enough to bring me back some Kiwi sweets.

At first glance…I thought they were chocolate covered pineapple chunks. Or Lumps.


But that wouldn’t make sense. How long could they last before stinky, stank sweet juices started leaking out? Not very long, mate.

To get a basic feel for what these are, think Charleston Chew. But really…not very “chewy” at all.


There’s a suggestion of chew, but very very mild. Which means now is the part of the review where I’d usually say “I’d like these if they were chewier” but NO. I’m not gonna say that. And here’s why.

These are weird. And by weird, I mean different: I haven’t had anything like them before, and that counts for a lot IF it’s a tasty candy. And these are quite yummy indeed.

The chocolate coating is thin and nice, and immediately gives way to a nice, real pineapple flavor (there’s real juice in these, which is quite apparent). Like I said before, they’re not quite chewy enough for my tastes, but they definitely work as-is.

However. This is a clear candidate for our patented method of candy aging®. What’s our secret, you ask? Just today, we’ll fill you in for free:

Leave the bag open. Real scientific. But we’re talking at least a couple weeks. I’m betting that these will firm up quickly, and will become even better.


As is though, I still like them.  Welcome to the party, Kiwis!


Zolli Candy


  1. Erin

    I’m Australian and we have these too. I’ve always found them sufficiently chewy but it’s all got to do with how you store them. They’ve got that consistency where if they’re too fresh it’s not the same.

    • Jonny Guru

      So you like aging them too? You sound smart.

  2. Matty

    Exactly what I think. Smart you.


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