Milk Duds

Probably my #1 movie theater grub,

Reviewed by Jonny

July 1, 2008


Milk Duds are like the forgotten children of Brazil. Sure, when you’re at the movies you see them, you buy em, you love ’em! But when you’re not there…they remain a distant candy memory.

For me, at least.
But here’s the thing: they’re wicked good. I mean, what’s not to like? Caramel shrouded in milk chocolate is a slam dunk. And I also kinda like the way they’re all mis-shaped & weird looking. Seriously, is that wax it’s coated with??
Which brings us to the “X” factor for duds: they stick to your teeth like a sonofabitch. The thing I’ve realized in recent months (on a side note, Matty, Scott and I, the Candy Gurus, have had numerous conversations about Toothstick®–is it good? Is it bad?) is that toothstick® is a seriously big consideration when discussing any candy. And the other weird thing I’ve realized is that I personally LIKE candy that sticks to my teeth on some level. However Scott does not. Matty, I’m not sure about. As you can see, a personalized taste.
Anyhow, one thing’s clear: Duds stick. But for shit’s sake, it’s friggin’ caramel and chocolate sticking, so it’s a taste sensation baby, yeah! So here’s what you do the next time you’re buying cheap hair product at Target (yes, I’m obsessed with Target): cruise on over to their ample candy section and pick up a jumbo box of Duds. Then, when you’re chillin’ at home, bust them open and see if you don’t agree: Milk Duds aren’t just for the movie theater anymore. If you like or don’t mind toothstick®, then you can’t go wrong here.
Oh, and if you travel to Sao Paulo or Rio this year, do us all a favor and toss some of those kids a few sheckels, eh?—

From Matty:
Ahh the Duds. Wife LOVES them. I like em. If someone offered me a few I would say sure, bring em on. Only issue I have with the Duds is they hurt my teeth. They stick something rotten and paint themselves on that part of the tooth between the gum and the actual tooth and dammit if I’m not sensitive there given all the goddamn candy I eat. So…I like em but I will tend to saty away from uber sticky caramely candies.
Jonny’s Bottom Line: These are a classic candy for a reason-they rock. It’s true that they DO pair so well with sitting in a movie, but they’re also hella good on the couch.Matty’s Bottom Line: Tasty. Great for making cavities.




Zolli Candy


  1. greebs

    I agree that there is too much Toothstick here. I should LOVE Milk Duds because of the choco-caramel combo, but I don’t. Plus I think the quality of the chocolate is really bad.

    Now…I thought you were going to rate each candy by each one of your various metrics, no? Curious why the Twiz and the Duds (which sounds like a new morning radio team) didn’t get that treatment.

  2. Swervie

    They stick way to the hell much fo’ moi. I have to suck on them like a kid on its mom’s teet until it’s barely candy at all in order to get these things to a manageable mouth experience. The wife loves them however. Go figure.


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