What the HELL is going on?  A crime has been committed people, and no one’s doing a damn thing about it. The crime in question is the complete and total lack of coverage about these:

How many of you have seen these in stores?  I’m betting almost none.  You, friends, were like me  before I hit the dollars store last month.  Not only did I see these, but also these:

At this point I was just plain angry- but then I remembered that “sour” varieties of non sour candies usually suck.  Sure, sometimes you get a gem like Skittles, but most of the time you get something more like sour Dots or Wonka’s Puckerooms.  If you take a mediocre candy and put sour coating on it, you use get a mediocre candy once again.  So skepticism was high.  Let’s start with the variety pack.

We got cherry, raspberry, green apple, watermelon and orange.  They’re all really tasty.  I like regular Mike & Ike’s, in fact we reviewed them as well as a bunch of their varieties-but I don’t tend to buy them often.  All of the flavors included in this mix are good, but I have to admit that the red ones are all just a little bit similar to me.  The orange stands out, and the green apple shines.

And that must be why they gave green apple their own box.

Back to where we started.  It’s a pretty large theater style box, with the now-requisite much smaller bag inside holding the goods .

At least this small pack is jam packed full.  It gives the illusion I’m getting a lot for my money.  But actually, I was- I have only ever seen these at the dollar store, so guess how much they cost?  That’s right-$1.79.  I kid!  They’re only a cool dollar and there’s a LOT inside.

But the amount isn’t the story-the headline is that these are FRIGGIN AMAZING!  Shockingly delicious.  In fact, I’d go so far to say that these are some of the best American sour candies I’ve ever had.  In my life.  Which has been going on for quite some time now.

I want to try to frame these, just for reference sake for y’all.  I’ve had every kind of candy similar to this around, or at least I feel like I have.  The apple flavor on these is great, it’s really on point, but it’s the sourness that just nails it.  I’m not sure if it’s just a little less sour than most sour candy, or more sour, but it’s mouth watering and despite eating almost a whole box, I never time of them.  Never.

Yes, the variety box is good, I’ll certainly buy them again, but it’s all about the green apple.  I always used to wonder about candies like this that have a mix, then create a variety with just one of those flavors.  I used to ask myself “who the hell would buy the single flavor when they can have a variety?”  The answer to that question is me, my friends.  I’ve found a keeper, and I intend to gorge myself with them.

The thing that worries is me is why we haven’t seen them anywhere else. Have they been discontinued?  How can that be, if NO ONE’S EVER SEEN THEM?  Are they somehow secretly poisonous and they’re trying to unload the remainders at cheap dollar stores around the greater Bay Area?  Possibly, if I’m alive next month we’ll know for sure.

UPDATE: Here they are! Rebranded, but the same thing: