Mega Smarties Lollies – More Than A Mouthful

these are big. Scary big. Too big. But never fear-read on....

Reviewed by Jonny

October 19, 2011


We were recently sent a box-nay, a bounty-of these Mega Smarties Lollies.  We’re big fans off the lolly here, and my kid is a Smarties junkie, so why not right?  It would be he perfect combo…right?


It’s a bit difficult to tell from the photo, but these things aren’t lying when they term themselves “mega”.  They’re friggin’ “youge” to quote Donald Trump.  For the intended audience, this has to be a problem.  I mean, it was problematic for me-  you simply cannot get this whole thing in your mouth, and trust me-I have a big mouth.


I took photos of Jr. attempting to stick one in, but alas-they turned to vapor when I gave up my trusty POS Blackberry I’ve been using for 5 years.  But more on that another time.  Suffice it to say he couldn’t come close, but do you think that bothered him?  Not a whit.  He didn’t even understand why it concerned me.  Then I realized-it didn’t!  These are the exact opposite of a choking hazard for a kid.  In fact, it’s PERFECT for a toddler, as it’s essentially the same thing as those disgusting sucking biscuits mommas give there little ones- too big to swallow, but they can chew away on it.  The only difference is that this will give the kids mass cavities.  It’s a win win.

Let’s get down to brass tacks though-how do they taste?  I have to say, I was disappointed in these.  I love Smarties, and one of the reasons why is the tiny size and pretty nice varieties of flavors.  Don’t even get me started on the sour Smarties, those are heavenly.  The problem with this bad boy however, despite having 2-3 flavors in it, is that it’s basically the equivalent of 5 or 6 rolls of smarties.  Like I said, it’s youge.  because there’s so much, there just isn’t enough variety.  What we’re left with is a bit too sweet, too samey, and….too damn much.  But the biggest issue for me is that it’s too sweet.  I do appreciate the way it slowly crumbles though, that’s fun.


But here’s what you’re gonna do.  You’re not gonna buy those.   You’re gonna buy these.  I promise you will not be let down.  In fact, if any of you want to buy some for us, feel free.  And you’re gonna buy them from the link above because the people from are cool.  And you know how important it is to us at the Gurus to support cool folks, right?  Their shipping is reasonable, they have a nice selection, and that’s enough for us.  Give them a shot-cause these little things make bomb ass Halloween candy too-if you’re like me, and save all the good stuff for yourself.


See, ya tell your wife that you’re giving it all away, but then you stash the choice stuff in your man cave/1/10th of a shelf your wife has allotted you/car.  It works.

Zolli Candy


  1. Heather

    I love them personally. Like both flavours of each lollies. Apparently , which I already knew, I have a “Big” mouth. I had no problems with them except (isn’t there always at least one) they crumble far to easily and addictive!!!!

  2. matty

    these things are terible. way too sweet. no discernable flavors, and it was like hard, packed sugar. i couldn’t stand these. crap


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