Maynards Sports Mixture – Ugly Candy Needs Eating Too.

Is it important to you to have attractive candy? Or is flavor more important. Warning, these are some ugly bastards.

Reviewed by Jonny

September 6, 2011


Can you judge how good something tastes by how it looks?


Usually.  it’s true!  Envision fresh caviar nestled on top of a bright green slice of avocado, perched above a cooked quail egg.

Now picture beef stew.


Let’s take a look at Maynard’s Sports Mixture:

They’re “longer lasting, fuller flavor gums”, or so says the bag.  And this is for…athletes?  Oh, I GET IT!  The shapes are…athletic.  Note to Americans: the oar-looking thing is a cricket…stick.  People play it in other places.  The matches can literally take days.

Here’s what my beef is with them though-look again at the pictures of the candies on the bag.  Now glance at reality, below.  LOOK AT THEM!!


Err…was there an explosio0n at the Maynard’s plant?  Brush fire?  Word on the street is that Lion’s used to make these, then maynards took them over…and the shapes didn’t translate.  No matter though- because in this instance, Maynards has pulled through again with a winner.  As you’d expect from Maynards, these “gums” are delightfully hard and chewy, and have nice, full flavors.  Not extremely sticky, in fact..they’re the opposite.  Chewy as hell, but no stick at all.

Dig this, from Wikipedia, and enjoy the brevity: “The product used to contain liquorice flavoured pieces, but this has now replaced by blackcurrant. Also the colours are artificial.”

Also, the yellow ones are poison.  Also, your mother’s a prostitute.  Also, your puppy is dead.  Any of these would have worked, but they really chose the zinger.  Nice work, Wikipedia-winning again.

Regardless of description, they really are ugly.  They look nothing like anything, but who cares?  Yes, I enjoy savory dishes to look good, as I’m a repressed chef in another life.  Or, I’m a chef in another life.  Actually, come to think of it, I’m sure I’d be repressed regardless, so let’s go with that.  But I like food, I like cooking it, and I like making it taste great and at least look good.  But candy?  I don’t give a shit.  Look however you want, I’m watching TV when I eat you anyhow.


Standard UK flavors, tough, long lasting chew…these are a winner.  As always, hard to find, but since you’re a fan of, now YOU have a friend in the candy business*.  Hit the link below to purchase these ugly bastards.


*wasted  reference?  Anyone?

Zolli Candy


  1. Jackie

    You can now get them in Tesco! Though I had to Google what the pictures on the guns were supposed to be……!

  2. Peter Banks

    Unfortunately the original Lions were taken over by Cadburys who rebranded them under their Maynards brand. Differcult to get hold of. Yes the liquorice flavour was brilliant. I just heard that simular gums have been released in the UK under Maynards Football Mixtures. Peter

  3. angel

    Get the origional Lions ones they are 100% better.

  4. Jonny

    I’ve never seen THESE in a store front, but I’ve seen wine gums and sours a few times. Not often though.

  5. matty

    yr funny. this review is good. i like.
    Are maynards available in real stores anywhere? Iv’e only seen them in stores owned by my Irish brothers.


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