Readers, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, “What the fuck.” “What the fuck” gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.
Yes, I’m quoting “Risky Business”, but the saying holds true for me. Despite being a candy review blogger, sometimes I just reach for the old favorites rather than trying something new. With that in mind, I decided to really make an effort to try a couple new candies a week. This is a little harder than it sounds, as my usual week consists of working my ass off with no visits to any kind of store, and my weekend consists of hanging with the family and doing grocery shopping.
The candy selection at Safeway (and don’t even get me started on Trader Joe’s) sucks. Therefore, I have to venture off the beaten path, to the great unheralded drugstores and candy stores, looking for something interesting, something different, but most importantly…something new.
I’ve seen this hanging bag of “Fruit Splosions” several times, but it just looked gross: gummy candy with liquid inside. Yuck. It reminded me of that gum that was semi popular in the early 80’s with the goopy liquid inside, “Freshen Up” or “Tidal Wave”. However, my back was against the wall, as there wasn’t a great selection, so I picked a bag up.
The flavors are basic for the most part- orange, watermelon, strawberry, and the semi-cutting edge blackberry. The problem is that none of these flavors really shout out the type of fruit they’re based on, despite being made with real fruit juice. That’s called irony, folks. But here’s the weirdest thing-I popped one in my mouth, bit in, and tasted the liquid center. My initial reaction wasn’t good, but then I noticed I was reaching for more. And more. And then I realized that I DID like these things. How? Why? WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!
Folks, this one remains a mystery to me. Usually it would take really unique strong flavors for me to dig something gimmicky like this, but…the liquid center is kinda cool. You don’t get hit with a mouthful of goo, just a little taste, and for whatever reason, it works.
I noticed that they also sell a bag of sour cherry Fruit Splosions (note to LifeSavers: Why? Why not just include that flavor in the mixed bag? Forcing me to buy a whole bag just to get a taste of a different flavor is some weak sauce. Not cool.)
Let’s not get carried away though-these are not going to become a staple for me, but I certainly will buy them again. And if you have kids? Forget about it, it’s a slam dunk. Kids love the goo.
So remember what Joel did in “Risky Business” the next time you’re ambivalent about trying a new candy. No, you might not end up running a whore house out of your parents mansion, but you just might find a new fave!
Bottom Line: Not a “new classic”, but Fruit Splosions are pretty tasty, pretty fun to eat, and overall, not bad.
Go Jonny! You managed to mention whores and the f-word in a posting about candy – wow! Yahoo!