Hitschler Sour Gummy Monsters

There's definitely no aroma of pregnant buffalo in these.

Reviewed by Jonny

April 28, 2014

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Leave it to Hitschler to explain the age old mystery as to why kids like sour.  According to them, it’s because they can “pull sour faces again and again!”


…I say I say, it’s because they can “pull sour faces again and again!”


Is this thing on?


I read a lot of descriptions of candy by candy companies.  And honestly, they’re mostly dreadful.  There’s no reason in the world I should care, and even less that I should burn calories talking about it, but I find the process amusing.  I want to meet this genius who cracked the DaVinci code about what makes those young’uns tick.  See, all this time, I thought we liked sour because it tasted good-or were they being witty?  I CAN’T TELL.


Here’s the deal on these-you can tell just by looking at the bag that they’re good.  One way or another, they’re either super crazy sour chewy, or they’re more of a jelly sour thing.  OR….as I found out….they’re just kinda normal gummies, extremely soft, and quite sour.  They’re damn good.


Four flavors up in here, and nothing unusual: lemon, strawberry, cherry, orange.  I didn’t think the flavor separation was that great, as I couldn’t really tell what flavor I had at the time.  For me though, the super soft consistency was actually a plus, because, being so sour, they were fun to squish around in my mouth.  The sour isn’t in the coating-it runs deep yo.  All the way through.

But what differentiates these from the unholiest of unholy, American sour gummies?  A lot.  For starters, it’s a completely different consistency- the American “Trolli” works are spongy and odd.  These are soft proper gummies.  You can feel it, you can taste it.  You can also smell it, which is another difference: The Hitschler treats not only don’t have artificial flavoring or coloring, they also don’t have artificial aromas. Honestly, that’s something I haven’t thought about too much, but the idea of artificial aromas disgusts me.


Listen, if the treats you’re peddling is so foul that you have to hide or mask the smell?  It’s time to re-work the recipe, IMHO.


These however, do not.  They’re not the most amazing gummies I’ve ever had, but they’re very good, and if I could, I’d by them pretty regularly.  To be clear, one CAN buy them, but navigating the translation on the site is kind of a nightmare.



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1 Comment

  1. mattycandy

    I haven’t read the review yet but may I suggest they CHANGE THEIR NAME IMMEDIATELY? litlol


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