Seriously Haribo. WTF is going on? Are you making a new variety every WEEK? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING??!

You might be saying to yourself “what is Jonny talking about? All I ever see is Twin Snakes, Berries, Gold Bears, and few others?” And you’d be correct, but you’d also be shopping at the wrong places. While we can’t currently get even a fraction of the entirety of Haribo’s varieties round these parts, we definitely have more than ever.

But see…here at the Goo, we have even more, because we have our sparrows in Germany as well as other parts of the world who send us stuff hot off the presses. And we can’t thank y’all enough. But…sometimes I have to question why Haribo is making so many similar varieties. It seems like there’s now at least 10 branded varieties that are all more or less Haribo Fantasia-which are great, but…do we really need more than one?

This is why, when I saw this little dude, I was very excited: a new sour gummy, and pretty neat faded seafaring colors.

Yep. That translates to “sweet lake” apparently.

So we’ve seen the excellent sour Gold Bears. That’s one type of Haribo sour gummy.
We’ve seen Twin Snakes, another kind that’s not dusted with any sort of coating.

And now we have a third kind. A dusted but not firm sour gummy. It definitely still is a gummy, and not part of the fruit jelly family, but it’s softer and squishier.

There’s a decent amount of shapes. A shell. A star. A seahorse. Some other crap.

The sour level on these is fine, but here’s the thing: these are mediocre. I knew it as soon as I tried one, Jonny Guru, without me saying a word tried one and said “no thanks Dad, I don’t need these in my candy jar”.

2 takeaways from that: my kid has his own candy jar in his bedroom. Do the math on that. And he passed on me giving him a bunch of new Haribo for said jar.

There’s some privilege going on up in here.

Anyhow, the Mrs. tried them and said the same exact thing “eh. They’re ok.”

So that’s the review. They’re “OK”. I know it. Wifey knows it. Junior knows it.

So doesn’t Haribo have to know it too? And if so, being the absolute shit as far as gummy makers go….why make “meh” varieties? Wouldn’t be my strategy.