There’s never been a Haribo variety MORE targeted directly at me.

These are Vegan, like SO MANY candies these days, and they’re super firm. Here’s the thing tho….they’re kinda….whatever. Sure, they’re good, the flavors are…fine I guess? I can’t even tell what they are, but they’re those familiar Haribo basic flavors we’re all probably used to.

Despite the nostalgia (I guess. I mean so what. MARIO ISN’T EVEN ON THE FUCKING BAG!), these just feel a little uninspired to me.

I think to bring the real mysticism of the game to life, we’d need those mushrooms to be colorful and 3d, then the coins you leave as is (they did them fine), then perhaps the stars are sour? WHY AM I NOT IN CHARGE OF HARIBO? Why is my phone not ringing? You can bet your ass I would make tie-ins a bit more specific and interesting, because this one was phoned in by my actual real Haribo employee counterpart, and they’re making me angry. (Checks internet…)

Holy crap-they’re not exactly what I described but they’re WAY closer- check these out, these must be the REAL Super Mario Haribo in Europe. Looks WAY better, and can be yours for a click! I’d try that one. Leave these on the web page.