Gingerbread got ya down? Try Manischewitz’s “Chanukah House”!

I'm a Jew. I'm a Guru. I build things. (Salads mostly). Let's see how this fares.

Reviewed by Jonny

December 12, 2012


This will be a review in pictures.  Eat your heart out, Robert Mapplethorpe.

We were sent a Chanukah House, much like a gingerbread house, to review this year.  Seeing as how both of the Candy Gurus are Jews, and the Guru Jr’s are halvsies, it seemed like a slam dunk.  Here’s the box.  Pretty sweet looking!


First, Jr. had to eat his ramen.  Contemplating.

Then he was all like, “COME AT ME, BRO!”

Ok, ok.  We’ll get started.  To get things going, we laid everything out.  There’s a lot of stuff that comes with this thing: the cookie bases, fondant (what the HELL IS THIS STUFF?), icing sprinkles, candies, and more.

Hold up.  Houston, we might have a problem.  LOTS of cracks in our base cookie.  Would have been a deal breaker if it were a roof piece or side, but…maybe it wouldn’t be disastrous on the base?

Time to get building.  Within seconds, you can easily erect the foundation.  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Seriously though, this thing is dead easy to build.  Check it out- we’re almost  done!

It’s just like my real house: holes in the roof and cracks in foundation.


Am I on FIRE today, or what?


Just one more thing to do-gotta chimney it up.

And…it’s built.  Literally, this took maybe 5 minutes.  Surprisingly quick & easy.

Oh..wait.  Was I not supposed to eat all the icing?

And that’s me feeling proud.  Job well done.  But…that was before I started decorating.  Egads.  Not easy, and not quick.

Getting the front to look similar to the box wasn’t super tough.  But manipulating the icing, fondant, etc, really was clunky.  I’m sure experienced gingerbread house makers won’t have an issue but I have  big hands (THAT’S WHAT SHE…you get the idea) and it was a bit messy for me.

There was no way I was going to get the rolling pin out, flatten the fondant, and cut out diamond shaped pieces to make the roof like it looks on the box.  So I copped out and started slathering the crap every which way but loose.

Here she stands.  Not bad, right?  I have to say, it’s pretty cute.

Jr. gives it the thumbs up.  And he only ate about 1/4 pound of sugar in the process.


I gotta say, I like this thing.  For us Jews, it’s GREAT.  Finally, we can consume our precious afternoons wiping icing on our jeans and yelling in frustration.  Buy it now, before the holiday is over, at Amazon.


L’Chiam, peeps!

Zolli Candy


  1. Moi

    Words With Friends does not allow you to play the word jew. Haji is totally fine though.

  2. Rodzilla

    Christmas and Chanukah?! Lucky

  3. laurie p.

    so now i’m trying to decide if you guys are GuJews, JewRus, or JewGus. I think I like JewRus best…cuz it get you half-way to JewRusalem.

  4. matty

    jews are great. jesus was a jew you know.


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