Fruchtgummi Vom Feinstein is NOT a Jewish Vampire. It’s an amazing candy confectioner that you need to know about NOW.

Flavor combinations that put what we're used to eating to shame....

Reviewed by Jonny

March 28, 2013



I tried something from these guys a few months ago, when the Suze sent me a bag of their gummy bears.  No big whoop.  Then I ate one and I tripped out.  I didn’t actually like it, but that wasn’t what got my head spinning.  To me, the thing tasted like acidic lemon yogurt.  Turns out that’s what the flavor was: Lemon Yogurt Buttermilk.  I mean..they NAILED the flavor, like it or not.  But I chalked it up to a one-off, and since you can’t buy them here, I moved on.


But the Suze didn’t.  She sent two more bags, and I’m here to say I love these damn German little darlings.  First up?  No big deal: just rum & coke gummies.



Love that Gumby lookin’ fella.



Again, these nailed both flavors for me.  First you get a nice cola taste, which blooms and lasts a while.  But then comes this wave of spice that completely harkens rum for me: vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon, I HAVE NO IDEA.  I don’t make rum.  I just know that these taste like a rum & coke.  Specifically, like a spiced rum, the kind you find in the Caribbean.  I know you all frequent the Caribbean.   Ironically, I really don’t like rum & cokes, but I like these.  The duality of the flavor is just so epic, I can’t keep my hands off them.  Nice medium consistency, and beautiful taste.  Very, very different.


Then I tried the familiar looking guys:



They looked just like the Lemon Yogurt Buttermilk thingies.  But they’re not.  These are Lemon Ginger.



These have such a distinct texture-there’s something…hard and not gummy about them that I’m a bit unclear about, but I LOVE.  It’s hard to describe, but they’re not exactly the same consistency as normal gummy bears, or normal gummies for that matter.  They’re almost a cross between a gummy and a fruit gelee, and I LIKE THAT.

The flavor is very subtle, and not so subtle at the same time.  Very nice lemon, not sour at all, but tart enough, and then a blanket of ginger over it.  Not aggressive, but distinct, and memorable-and lasting.  To the point where I’m looking forward to eating them tonight RIGHT NOW.  In my world, this is what all candy should be like: so good that you really have a hard time leaving it alone.  Perhaps I’m jaded, but it just doesn’t work that way much of the time for me, so when it does, I get all weird OCD and scour the net for info.

And the info aint good.  The full name is (wait for it) Baren Co. Fruchtgummies Vom Feinstein.  It really ROLLS off the tongue.  And from everything I’ve found, we can’t even order them from a German website and pay exorbitant shipping.  We just can’t get them.  So to further the pain, here’s some more flavors they make that we’ll likely never try:


Dark Beer

Mint Ice Tea

Strawberry Margarita

Cappuccino Bears

Caipirinha (Brasilian drink, yummsville)


Grapefruit Mint

“Breasts” (This isn’t a flavor, just a shape.  Or maybe both!)

Blood Orange


“penis” (see: breasts)

Cherry Banana Yogurt



Trust me, I could keep going.  I’m so intrigued by the flavors and anatomy above, that it just cements my disappointment in us.  Inventing crap and going to the moon and making computers is lame.  We need to start focusing on what’s important, and that’s how to get grapefruit/mint gummy technology over here so all y’all can rock some of these with me.

Sigh.  Until then, we can cross our fingers and hope the Suze comes through yet again.  These are amazing, and this is definitely a candy company to watch for me.

Zolli Candy

1 Comment

  1. matty

    2 things: 1. your link is too long. It doesn’t work with the format template. 2. don’t you ever, and I mean EVER again review candy I can’t get anywhere on the web. It’s like putting up pics of Jenna Jamison and writing “look how good this looks” and then saying “with the right haircut, this could be your wife,” when no, actually, it can’t ever be my wife since there’s no doctor in the world who could do work like that. #NotFair


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