Before you start, I know what you’re gonna say. “Vegetarian gummies?!? Aren’t they all?” Nope. They’re not. Gelatin, derived from pigs for food purposes generally, adds a texture to gummies that provides the spring and trademark feel that most of think of when we think of gummies.
But not these.
Frankly, we’ve reviewed many gummies that are vegetarian, and I’ve really enjoyed most of them. What I’ve found is that it makes the gummy into slightly more of a jelly, which I dig. Sometimes it produces a really unique experience, which we always love. In this instance though, it’s made an unholy offering that needs to be wrapped up, set on fire, while simultaneously buried with Romanian monks chanting the ingredients list backwards. Someone get the ball rolling on this.
These are not cool. Not cool at ALL. Look above at the bag. Look at all the moisture.
I SAID LOOK AT IT.
Ok. Now check these out.
They might not look it from this distance, but they’re sweating. Let’s go closer.
Sometimes, this look only implies a slight smooth sheen to the candies, and it’s usually when they’re vegetarian. And that sheen actually is welcome, as it makes the pieces totally not stick together. For whatever reason though, these are the exact opposite. They’re beyond sticky and slimy. They’re stimy. And that doesn’t bother some people, but it bugs the hell out of me. I don’t want to have a bib required when I’m binge eating candy.
More disturbing though, is the taste.
Sweet, sweet, sticky ginger. I like ginger. I like sweet. But holy hell did they get these wrong. There’s no payoff, and since they’re veggie, the jelly consistency only serves to gross you out more, what with the sticky smelly mess factor on blast already. Normally when I don’t like gummies, I’m just meh on them. These though, …must be stopped, and stopped now.
Forget you ever saw these. Me? I’m not so lucky. Forever unclean.