Baseball and Rodents – Haribo Susse Mause

Mice never tasted so...horrible.

Reviewed by Jonny

October 22, 2010


Well, it sucks that the SF Giants didn’t knock the Phillies out and clinch a pennant and a World Series spot last night.  It sucks cause me and the Mrs. were there.  It sucks cause it rained on us.  But it actually doesn’t suck.

Anyone who knows anything about baseball knows that the prospect of taking 3 in a row against a power house team like the Phils is a ridiculous endeavor.  We’re gonna win-we’re just gonna have to do it tomorrow or Sunday in Philly.  Go to Pat’s, grab a  half dozen cheese steaks wit’, boys.  Eat them AFTER you win, not before the game.

Speaking of suckage, know what else suck?  Haribo Susse Mause:

The world really needed another foam marshmallow candy? Marshmallows in general are weak enough, but odd flavored marshmallows shaped like rodents?

I can’t stand these. I couldn’t even eat one. They’re for sure a “spitter” as far as I’m concerned. They have this weird sheen to them, coupled with an odd…”sweet” flavor. As my kid says, ‘Sgusting.

Do yourself a solid, and just forget this type of candy exists, unless it’s for your dumb kids who don’t know any better (like mine). The only redeeming quality of these is that the picture of the mice in a circle is semi-amusing.

But back to baseball. I don’t care where you’re from (I’m from Philly for shit’s sake!) you HAVE to love my Giants. Scrappy, pot smoking freaks with dyed hair, they’re passionate-they want it more than the Phils, and that’s what’s gonna win it for us. So do me a favor, avoid these crap confections, and root for my Giants this weekend.

Free candy for EVERYONE* if the Giants get to the World Series!!!

(by “everyone”, I mean me, Matty, and whichever of our kids wear orange & black. Hell, maybe we’ll toss some to you too, but you gotta EARN it! Show us the Giants love OR the marshmallow hate! Either way, you might make our gift list, which is a DAMN good list to be on, ask any of our previous recipients. We don’t hold back.)



Zolli Candy


  1. luke

    haribos the best. i can eat it till im sick and then eat again when i feel better, as opposed to never eating again(or at least for ten yrs) like most things. i can get usaully 4 varieties i like from one gas station but i get the rest via amazon.

  2. susan

    Until now, I was just assuming that they were gross based on their fetal appearance; now my curiosity is satisfied without having to actually consume them. Thanks!

  3. Martha

    Two words: FREAK & EEK! Love the Giants & hate the mice.

  4. Johnny M

    A Haribo fail?
    Didn’t think it was possible. These do look like something that you shouldn’t put in your mouth though…

  5. matty

    Josh’s description is hilarious. Guest post!

  6. Jonny

    J-Churn, you NAILED it. Exactly.

    You might be next up for a guest review, dude….

  7. Josh

    I’ve tried these.. If you need a good comparison I’ll help you out. Take a fresh Peep, suck all the sugar off of the damn thing, magically extract 30% of the flavor and then coat it in a nice layer of PAM cooking spray and dry. You’ll kind of get the point…

    The real sad part is Haribo knows better

  8. greebs



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