Irn Bru.
It’s a Scottish soda that I personally dig. I’d compare it to Mountain Dew in that there’s no other drinks that taste anything like it. If you said, 7-up, I could say Sprite. Say Coke, I say Pepsi. Dr Pepper, Mr. Pibb. But when you get to Mountain Dew…that’s it. Nothing else like it. Irn Bru is like that except it tastes nothing like it. NOTHIing like it. What it does taste like is this candy. EXACtly like these things they seem to call “Wham.” Another Scottish special from Kathleen in the high country.
How to describe Irn Bru taste…I’d say, it’s like bubble gum meets fruit gum flavor. Like Juicy Fruit mixed in with a ton of Fruit Stripe. And it’s sweet as hell. Like Mexican candy sweet. And I like that shit – so with Wham we’re one up in flavor town.
But the candy…hm. These Whams…
(oh and now I know why I don’t use iphoto to create pics of candy. Perfect if you want the mirror effect. terrible when you speak English)
Ok so if you name yr candy “Wham” – well you better fucking add some punch to it. And if you’re gonna say on the package: “Super F!zz!” and “Tongue Tingling Chew Bar” – well you sure as shit better be knocking off Pop Rocks or Zotz. And sadly, that’s where Wham falls short. Simply put, there aint no tingle. I sure couldn’t taste any. Lame. Uber lame. Almost unforgiveable.
You like caramel? I do but don’t love it. The taste for me = B+. The texture…strictly a C or C-. My teeth can’t manage it. Too sticky. How can I enjoy something when after I eat it I spend 10 minutes scraping my mouth for the ill- gotten remnants? These Whams do that like 10X what I would expect from your average brown lil chew. Still…there is something of interest here: most of our (US) real chewy fruity candies aren’t this kind of warm taffy-esque texture and that makes me give it a point for uniqueness. But every bite I took was just another reminder that my next chore would be picking sugar strings from enamel canals.
And no. Not sure I’d ever buy these. In fact – no. wouldn’t. Buuuuut… it does make me miss my days in Edinburgh with cans of Irn Bru. Cuz Scotland – I love that place. I’d live there if my wife would ever let me.
