We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

UK Sweets – Wham Bam No Thank You Maam

Author

Irn Bru.
It’s a Scottish soda that I personally dig. I’d compare it to Mountain Dew in that there’s no other drinks that taste anything like it. If you said, 7-up, I could say Sprite. Say Coke, I say Pepsi. Dr Pepper, Mr. Pibb. But when you get to Mountain Dew…that’s it. Nothing else like it. Irn Bru is like that except it tastes nothing like it. NOTHIing like it. What it does taste like is this candy. EXACtly like these things they seem to call “Wham.” Another Scottish special from Kathleen in the high country.

How to describe Irn Bru taste…I’d say, it’s like bubble gum meets fruit gum flavor. Like Juicy Fruit mixed in with a ton of Fruit Stripe. And it’s sweet as hell. Like Mexican candy sweet. And I like that shit – so with Wham we’re one up in flavor town.

But the candy…hm. These Whams…

(oh and now I know why I don’t use iphoto to create pics of candy. Perfect if you want the mirror effect. terrible when you speak English)

Ok so if you name yr candy “Wham” – well you better fucking add some punch to it. And if you’re gonna say on the package: “Super F!zz!” and “Tongue Tingling Chew Bar” – well you sure as shit better be knocking off Pop Rocks or Zotz. And sadly, that’s where Wham falls short. Simply put, there aint no tingle. I sure couldn’t taste any. Lame. Uber lame. Almost unforgiveable.

You like caramel? I do but don’t love it. The taste for me = B+. The texture…strictly a C or C-. My teeth can’t manage it. Too sticky. How can I enjoy something when after I eat it I spend 10 minutes scraping my mouth for the ill- gotten remnants? These Whams do that like 10X what I would expect from your average brown lil chew. Still…there is something of interest here: most of our (US) real chewy fruity candies aren’t this kind of warm taffy-esque texture and that makes me give it a point for uniqueness. But every bite I took was just another reminder that my next chore would be picking sugar strings from enamel canals.

And no. Not sure I’d ever buy these. In fact – no. wouldn’t. Buuuuut… it does make me miss my days in Edinburgh with cans of Irn Bru. Cuz Scotland – I love that place. I’d live there if my wife would ever let me.

 

 



  • d j / s p l i t

    Wow, I disagree Matty. I liked these. You didn’t speak to the fact that there’s a THIN layer if fizzy powder in the middle of it that adds a mild crunch- maybe your bar was lacking? Regardless, I’d give these things a 6.5 or 7. I dug ‘em.

    -Jonny Guru

  • Swervie

    It seemed to have something in the middle. Something fizzy? That was fizz? uh no. Strictly Single A ball — decent enough to watch once or twice but needs a lot more work and star power for me to keep coming back and become and actual fan.

  • Denise Ryan

    Hey guys – take off the wrapper, cut that baby open!!! I want to see what it looks like!!!!! I want some candy porn!! Really I am totally curious about what this bar looks like.

  • Candy Gurus

    Denise – you are right. And I have to say you are very good at that. I love your reviews for the images you show. I will work on including that more.

    -Matty