We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Haribo Primavera Is NOT Pasta, Apparently.

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Without friends, what would we have?

One of my friends, young Johnny M, has more or less made it into my will (Sorry Jonny Jr.!) vis a vis his friends.

Have I lost you?

Johnny M has a pal in Germany. Johnny knew how fond of Haribo candy we are at the Gurus, and how most of it is 100% unavailable in America. So, without any prodding by me whatsoever, Johnny M contacted his pal in Germany, and I kid you not–within 48 hours the dude had bought over TWENTY bags and wasn’t done yet. Flash forward to a few weeks later after he found his mule to bring the stuff into the states, and I’m a happy guy. I’m talking half-of-a-grocery-bag full kinda happy guy.

So big thanks to Johnny M and his German pal, it’s Christmas in September!

Here we go. First on the docket? Haribo Primavera:
Hariboprimavera-bag

The concept here is that they’re little strawberries. Here’s how they look once you open that bag:

Hariboprimavera-open

I’m guessing you’re looking at these, thinking that they have the consistency of those unholy bastards you eat at Easter time, right? Peeps? Thankfully, they’re not similar at all. The Primavera are pretty hard out the bag-but once you pop them in your mouth, they break down easily thanks to the foamy/grainy center:

Hariboprimavera-cut

They start perhaps seemingly stale, then as you chew, the center breaks down nicely. And the flavor? Well that’s my favorite part. They taste identical to Nestle’s “Strawberry Quick”.

Please tell me you remember Strawberry Quick. I’m not THAT old, am I? Essentially, it’s the strawberry flavored chocolate milk that was the BIZZomb back in the day. Truly delicious.

As you might guess, I like the Primavera a lot. But here’s the weird thing: I think I have pretty good taste–wait, I know I have good taste when it comes to candy. But the ONLY person who liked these besides me was my brother Matt, and potentially Johnny M. I think we tasted these when he made the hand off. So that leaves everyone else in the “hated it” category.

I sort of can understand why- it’s a unique mouth feel, but it’s not weird or off-putting or anything. And the flavor is so dope…I just don’t get why so many of my friends thought these were bad.

But we don’t care about them, do we?

They don’t have candy review sites, do they?

In fact, what the hell are they complaining about? All I do is feed them free candy samples, and for that they shit on me like this??!!!

I HATE THEM ALL SO MUCH!!!!

But I digress…

The takeaway with these guys is that they’re yummy. Unfortunately, they’re not easy to find at all. And you’ll find that same reality with pretty much all of the Haribo I’ll be reviewing in the coming months, but…that’s just the way that it is. Think of this as a primer for your big Euro trip trip next summer. You’ll know what to buy once you’re there. Or even better, you’ll know what to buy ME when you’re there.

Yes, we accept gifts, but only in the form of candy or cash. No photos, please, unless nudity & candy combined in an arty or pornographic way. We have standards here, people.

Jonny OUT!

 

 

 

  • Matty

    They look blechy.
    But it’s Haribo. It’s like sex and pizza – even when they ain’t that great, you can still sign me up for some.

  • http://www.motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com Denise

    Maybe you and Matty are just insane. : )

    But I’m so glad you’ve added disection to the site!! I would never guess that anything from Haribo wasn’t a damn gummy.

  • Susie

    Hey Jonny,

    You are aware that you have German readers as well, don´t you? The supermarket shelves here are bulging with Haribo over here – would you like me to send you a truckload? I am serious – just let me know and I will see what I can do, okay?

    Greetings from Munich,
    susie