Trader Joe’s Classic Dark Hershey’s

Trader Joe's Classic Dark Chocolate Bar. Sure, it's fine. Who cares. And that's probably its problem.

Reviewed by Matty

March 1, 2010


Here I am to do the 2nd of my Trader Joe POS dark chocolate reviews (here’s the first if you need a referesher). Have you noticed that Trader Joe’s and other markets like it, appear to have more of these non-Snickers-like-but-straight-up chocolate bars right there at check out, usually dark, from companies that most people have never heard of? This one is actually branded with “Trader Joe’s,” most likely bought from another food maker, and they use a strikingly familiar Hershey’s milk chocolate package feel. Hey not a bad idea really, Aristotle said art is imitation, and someone else said imitation was the highest form of flattery. In this case, imitation is the best way for TJ’s to say “hey – lemming, buy this chocolate bar.”

Truth is, these were “fine.” Kinda neither here nor there. Scotty didn’t like how they tasted like a milk chocolate version of dark chocolate but I didn’t mind. It was like a creamy version of a dark choco bar, that wasn’t too thick or bulky and thus easy to pound down in one fell swoop. They didn’t advertise the 53% cacAO on the package but it’s listed in the ingredients.

Oh and I think these were cheap. I should have kept the receipt but I didn’t. Plus you can’t buy these online so I can’t give you a link for that. However, here’s a link to where a Trader Joe’s might be and you can buy from there! Although…individual stores don’t guarantee they will have the same products…hm. This review is starting to head down the ‘what’s the point?’ path. Oh but hey, if you insist on eating Kosher – have these for dessert!

Here we are at the dénouement of the review and as loyal readers know this tends to be the place where I start ranting. So if yr afraid of this kind of humor and/or you were hoping you had happened upon a candy review site that took itself seriously – I suggest you click away. For the rest of us: shame on me for reviewing this crap. This doesn’t deserve its own review. It’s chocolate. Yay. Done. Guess what it tastes like? Chocolate. Yep. Done again. In fact, why have chocolate reviews at all? Chocolate is like sex and pizza, even when it’s bad – you’d still pay for it when you want it, and when you want it, it’s never that bad.

So k’hell, buy this stuff. Sure. Or not. Doesn’t matter. When yr in the mood for a dark delight – this will work out just fine. Or not.

Zolli Candy


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