Oh, boy. So much hate, so little time.
I hate this candy, I hate the names of the flavors, I hate the picture I posted of them, I hate it all. My problems are eerily similar to the Skittle Cray Cores I just did. A lot of the same problems, and an unexpected one. As I was opening these, I saw the word “soft” on the packaging. What the hell? Soft Now and Laters? Wasn’t the tag line “Eat some now, save some for later” BECAUSE they were so hard and took so long to eat? That was their thing for sure…and that’s why I loved them. I think I actually DID eat some then and save some for later. I was totally down with the program. And now? Not. But maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Let’s walk through it, starting with the flavor names:
Hot damn. I knew I was missing out when I didn’t buy any Radberries or Tingleberries in Hawaii, but here was my chance! However, the Green Tingleberry is about as far from tingly as possible. Exactly the opposite, in fact. Think bland, soft, mild, inarticulate, flat. It doesn’t really taste like anything, it just sucks.
The Red Radberry tastes like red/cherry flavor. Not my favorite. And Purple Wildberry is nothing more than a murky berry flavor, could be any berry candy.
But they tasted like:
Mild Green For Old People!
Red Candy Flavor with Cherry
Not really as enticing, is it? You wouldn’t pay for these, would you?
Here’s another pet peeve of mine. This is a variety pack- 3 flavors, around 6 pieces of each. The thing is, each flavor is grouped together and sealed in plastic. I don’t understand this at all-is the notion that I’m going to eat all of one flavor, then the next flavor, etc? Maybe I’m insane and people do this, but I don’t. When I buy a variety pack, i want VARIETY. I don’t want to know what flavor’s next, much like Sweet Tarts or Starburst. This turd is wrapped in the same way Mambo chews are, and I don’t like it. It’s not a deal breaker though. I could certainly deal with it if I loved the flavors, but I don’t.
I tried one of each flavor for due diligence and then threw the rest out. Not quite a spitter that you can’t swallow in the traditional sense, but in the dollars and cents sense, it amounts to the same thing. Just a really weak candy experience. I didn’t even pawn it off on my not-yet-four-year-old boy who loves all candy. I can’t expose him to this. Not yet.
I suppose that part of the reason that I like candy is the same as him and most other kids: it’s pretty. It looks neat. And when you see something cool & shiny that you haven’t tried before, you want it. So I bought it, and that brings you pretty much up to speed. Don’t you do the same.
Jonny’s Bottom Line: Bad flavors, way too soft-not chewy.
Would I Buy These Again?: Hmm…. not a chance, never, no.