Jolly Rancher Sour Bunnies: Annual Gel Fest? Eh.

There was a time when Jolly Rancher was a one-trick pony – hard brick candies in watermelon, green apple, cherry, grape and orange – and dammit if we didn’t like it that way. Then, perhaps sadly, the world started changing. Where before something like a peanut covered in chocolate was a candy kink, suddenly it […]

Reviewed by Matty

April 1, 2013

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There was a time when Jolly Rancher was a one-trick pony – hard brick candies in watermelon, green apple, cherry, grape and orange – and dammit if we didn’t like it that way.

Then, perhaps sadly, the world started changing. Where before something like a peanut covered in chocolate was a candy kink, suddenly it was nothing more than a sweet’s version of missionary position. The sugar concocting industry got all growed up. Maybe starting with the S&M-y gummis and downright porn-like bacon & chocolate. I’d guess that Jolly Rancher started feeling the peer pressure to put out… and thus a smorgasbord of new candies they had to grow.

JRsourbun2

But you know what? No thanks guys. Maybe let’s keep these what-I-assume-is-an-annual treat off the shelves. Yes, Jolly Rancher defined the watermelon and green apple flavors – everyone just copied theirs. And yes, they have a great fake grape.

JRsourbun1

The flavors, though unique and distinctive, bringing the same overtones to whatever kind of candy JR makes, I posit they just don’t go well with soft candy. These bunnies are semi-sour, which is good, but they are so soft. Too soft, like an old jar of jelly that started to stiffen up. There’s no chew at all, these sure as heck aren’t gummis, and they get sticky on the teeth.

As we all know, kids like anything with sugar so of course they’ll like these. But for us discerning lovers of all things Rancher and/or Sour: these are ‘eh.’

Zolli Candy

4 Comments

  1. jonnyguru

    Have you noticed that ALL of your reviews lately are rimming with unrealized sexual tension? Just sayin’.

    Reply
    • Matty

      Oh, it’s realized

      Reply
  2. greebs

    Eh! Much like this review! 🙂

    Reply
    • Matty

      I was tired last night. But graf 2 is a darling!

      Reply

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