Jolly Rancher Chews : Should You…CHOOSE Them? OH NO I DI-IN’T!!!

Hey, it's a review of something you can actually BUY in this country! BUT SHOULD YOU???

Reviewed by Jonny


February 21, 2013


Here at the Gurus, we’re big fans of the Ranchers.  Specifically, all of their discontinued amazing flavors of “stix”, but I won’t gripe about that again.  Today.  Generally though, we like most things they spit out, as they do a good job of keeping their classic flavors consistent between different iterations of their wares.  Say what you want, but Jolly Rancher watermelon flavor was and is the best fake watermelon candy flavor ever.

jrchew-bagYou’ve probably seen these already at your local gas station mini mart.  The concept here is simple: small, flattish Starburst-style chews in traditional JR flavors: cherry, watermelon, green apple (cause everyone HATES red apples, right?) and Blue Raspberry, because they’re more often in season and more available than real raspberries.



Behold, the chews.  No green apple to speak of.  Not one in the box.  This kind of thing seems to be happening more frequently to me now, and it’s making me wonder if “they’re” out to get me.

I’d say that these start out a little softer than Starburst-just a little, and from there chew about the same.  They’re good-but best in small quantities. You know what to expect, and you get it.  Which can be a good thing, or it can be…just sort of “meh”, which is where I place these.

Yes, the flavors are still classic JR and good, but I think those flavors just work better in a hard candy format.  Don’t ask me why, they just do. I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK ME WHY, RESPECT ME!  RESPECT MY VOICE!

It probably has something to do with the intense nature of the flavor that lends itself to slow lickin’.  And that, my friends, is the line I’m gonna leave you with.  You might want to check these out, but this Guru ranks them as most def middle of the road fare.

Zolli Candy


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