Hey look, it’s another new one from Haribo. I used to freak out when this happened, but now it’s like 3 times a week, so the excitement might have waned a bit.
Usually when I gripe about Haribo, it’s because their new varieties are simply different shapes of gummies, not new kinds of sweets. This time, I was stoked, because this bag looks like it has 2 newer kinds of candies I haven’t tried yet by them: big ‘ol gumdrop thingies and small round jelly bean-like nuggets.
In addition to those 2 newbies, we get the classic gold bears, some random shaped non descript gummies, and a few foam backed gummies. Those aforementioned pieces are obviously great: they’re classic Haribo. And before I start spitting fire, please keep in mind that Haribo is clearly my favorite confectioner. Without them, Candygurus.com wouldn’t exist. Yet, …here I go.
These stink. And boy, did I want to love them. But it was my not-so-little anymore Jonny Guru Jr. who said it best when he was sampling the bag. “These little jelly bean things taste like medicine”. Thinking he must have been nuts, I tried a few and dammit….he’s right.
How do you fuck up a jelly bean? I mean….who’s minding the store. Even Haribo JELLY BEANS are good. Their bags of jelly beans are good! Which means these aren’t smaller versions of those: these are just some crappy one-off deemed new enough to be viable.
Having said that, the large gumdrop looking things aren’t gross like the little beans. But they’re also not that great. Which leaves the gold bears, foamers, and non descript gummies.
The same things we’ve been getting in different shapes for quite some time now.
I’m sure there’s TONS I don’t understand about what it takes to make new candies, and I realize that it’s easy to critique. But what happened to Haribo innovations like Lemon Ginger? That was amazing, new, delicious. I’ll say the same for Twin Snakes, they’re an instant classic. But aside from those gems, their last few years of new products has been generally lame.
Look, Matt and I will NEVER not adore Haribo. Never. But like any good parent, we gotta set their shit straight. Make LESS new varieties. But go for something different, and focus on the flavor. Haribo should mean SOLID quality. Always.
We know you can do it.