We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Yorkie is Yucky

Author

 

Thanks again to candyguru reader, nay – enthusiast, Craig (!) for providing review fodder in this…um very heavy bar to review. Not Greg Brady ‘heavy, man’, I mean this is easily the heaviest chocolate bar I’ve ever held in my hands. It’s 68 grams. Is that like 2 lbs? It says all over the package that it’s chunky milk chocolate. This isn’t like the “Chunky” of yesteryear. The big square bar that had raisins in it? I didn’t like those. Why ruin chocolate with raisins? Made no sense. Before I open the package I think these Yorkies are just plain milk chocolate. Can’t tell for sure since it’s dark in the room and the words on UK candy packaging are always so small and difficult to read. Think they are trying to hide the truth.

What I can read is the slogan: “It’s NOT for girls!”yorkie-big

uh. Really?

Every chick I knows LOVES chocolate. That’s like putting “not for boys!” on a beer can. Why in hell would you ever not want your core market to go out and buy your product? Oh right, they just want to hit the really hot 3rd grader audience, which was about the last year I can remember thinking girls suck. Or maybe it’s for my buddies who are always saying to me, “Dude – this chocolate is For BOYS. Keep my wife’s paws off that shit. Now turn on the goddamn game and throw me a square.”

yorkie-real

Poor marketing decisions aside. And knowing what we all know — that girls know and like chocolate more than I ever could — I hand the reins of this review over to my better half, who ate one Yorkie square and rather eloquently summed her opinion up in just three words:

“Rotten Easter Chocolate.”

Hm.

Well, the Yorkie bar is big and I can’t eat it all so you can finish it.

“No,” she said.

Huh.

And there you have it! Straight from the mouth of the woman who scorns the candy-buyer (me) who only brings gummis and no chocolate back from the store.

A straight and simple “No.”

Even if we give Yorkie a little leeway — it’s a UK chocolate, which is a long way to travel for a chocolate bar…and it’s in competition with the far superior Cadbury chocolate — you just can’t get around it, that’s some bad choco folks.

Next time you’re in the international candy aisle of your local grocer, leave the Yorkie on the shelf.

 

  • http://candyprofessor.com CandyProfessor

    I had the unfortunate experience of buying one of these, egged on by the taunting line “its not for girls”. Well, I’m a girl, and I can eat anything I want! Big mistake, as you know. I could only conclude that it was not for girls because girls would know better than to mistake this for actual edible candy, as would boys. Better slogan: “its not for humans.”

  • http://www.candygurus.com Matty

    Agreed!
    And in case I wasn’t clear before. There are no raisins in this thing. It’s pure crap milk chocolate. It doesn’t even really taste like chocolate. It’s a waste, really. I gave it a ’3′ since it’s not a spitter…but perhaps I should reconsider.

  • Ev

    A British family came into the store and told us a bit more about this. In britain it is known as the “Trucker’s Bar”, they grab one with their drink and food and bite off a chunk to eat while driving. The not for girls part comes from the chunks being too “big” to be politely eaten. At least, that is what they said, interesting though!