We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Nothing rhymes with “Wonka Kazoozles”, so … I can’t be clever.

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In the world of candy, especially immature, child-like candy, there’s no bigger name than Wonka. Giant Chewy Sweet Tarts, Bottle Caps, Nerds, Shockers…it’s like a carnival for the ADD crowd. Which means us.

A few months ago Wonka announced that they had 3 new products coming to market- gummies, sour gummies (both to be reviewed soon) and these…ungodly creations: Kazoozles.

kazoozles

 

Out of the package:
kazoozlesopen

What to make of these things? I had no idea. The pink lemonade flavor always wins me over (best in show: Jolly Rancher Pink Lemonade Stix, R.I.P.), but the look…WTF? Licorice? Something more terrifying and goopier? Gummy?   I didn’t know.  The data wasn’t in yet.

 

Yes, it was after midnight, and yes, Scotty and I were knee-deep in a marathon of the Food Network’s “The Best Thing I Ever Ate”, and yes, we weren’t not inebriated. So in this context, it made a lot of sense.

kazoozlescu

So I bit. And tasted. Know what? These are GOOD. Truly.

 

Here’s the breakdown: The outside is sort of like a licorice, but…it gives a bit more. It has a nice chew to it though-let’s call it a licorice/gummy bastard child. Inside the tube is this…sort of combination powdery/creamy/gummy filling that doesn’t taste nearly as repulsive as that description warrants.

When you take a bite, you get this nice licorice/gummy chew feel, combined with a slightly grainy sour vibe.  It really works, at least with this flavor. You definitely get the lemonade notes strong and clear. And for some reason, the mechanism of a gummy tube with a fairly bizarre sour filling inside works. It works big time, cause both Scotty and I felt we could have easily eaten another, just in time for the “Pizza” episode of TBTIEA (if you haven’t seen this show, catch it.)

True, there’s something annoyingly juvenile about walking into a store and “buying some Kazoozles”. Add to that the look of the candy, and for sure, we know these weren’t made for 40 year old dudes like me. And that’s fine. But I’m telling you, they work, and I’m not above scarfing down a few of these with the boy every now and and then.

As long as he brings them to the counter.

 

5 Comments

  1. It looks like a candy churro, and it also looks terrifying. But I’ll take your word on this one…

  2. The colors are truly ridonculous. Perfect if yr a 6 year old girl. But if you think they are good then I think they must be – we tend to agree on these things. Except in the case of Milk Duds, which are like molasses tar intended to make hard enamel hurt.

  3. You guys are so damn funny! I don’t even like this kind of candy, but now I’m going to have to try them. My dentist will love you.

  4. So, where I am these are cherry punch flavored, got acquired by sweetart and rebranded as sweetarts roles, and are AMAZING. They’re tangy, sweet, fun to take apart, and my go-to movie theater candy. Updating this in 2019 because these things got a giant glow up.

    • Huh. Interesting I’ll try again if I see them!

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