milk chocolate | Candy Gurus

Snickers Bites: Dime-sized & Still Satisfying

Reviewed by Matty on Jun 10, 2013

It's an old standby but dammit there's a reason for that

Full Review

Zoe’s Chocolate Co. : Two Bars For Review

Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 21, 2013

What's gona be better: animal crackers in milk chocolate, or jelly beans in dark? Serious first world issue to ponder.

Full Review

Baci means Kiss in Italian. Maybe should mean French Kiss.

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 18, 2013

Italians and their food. Let's let them keep making it.

Full Review

Wild Ophelia: Beef Jerky Milk Chocolate Brings Wisps of Animal

Reviewed by Matty on Feb 11, 2013

I know I know... when we think 'chocolate' we all think 'beef'. Nothing new here. Oh WAIT A MINUTE!

Full Review

Skinny Cow: “Divine Chocolates” that Don’t Fatten You Up

Reviewed by Matty on Jan 28, 2013

When you're fat, you diet. But you got to still eat candy. Because why make life any shittier?

Full Review

Happy Halloween! These are Terrible Coconut Candies!

Reviewed by Matty on Oct 31, 2012

Bad coconut candy may scare the hell out of you. Run!

Full Review

Kvikk Lunsj: Yeah, it’s spelled like that

Reviewed by Matty on Jul 23, 2012

Jeg elsker norske kvinner. Jeg mener sjokolade.

Full Review

Cremino Bicalore: Bueno

Reviewed by Matty on May 28, 2012

When you want something sweet and hazelnutty from Mexico

Full Review

PB&J’s: Cursing the Name of Peanut Butter

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 26, 2012

PB&J's has a name that says "simpler days", "mom loves me" and "yum". These bars though say "your stoopid", "you have no taste" and "screw you".

Full Review

Rolo: While It’s Technically True That You CAN Roll a Rolo To Your Pal, I’m Not Going To.

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 23, 2012

"You can roll a Rolo / To your pal/ They're chocolate covered / Car - a -mal". Not car-a-mel, but car-a-mal. Get it right.

Full Review

TCHO Chocolate: OK I promise to take Chocolate super serious. Now can I eat?

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 12, 2012

TCHO is So Fo Sho

Full Review

Ice Cubes: Classic Chocolate Misnomer

Reviewed by Matty on Aug 23, 2011

Chocolate makes the world go around. Or is that peace. Or is it money. I can never remember.

Full Review

Vosges Goji Bar: Tibetan Berries and Himalayan Salt at a K-Mart Near You!

Reviewed by Matty on Jul 28, 2011

Part of our infatuation with Vosges is that an attractive female makes the chocolate, but hot chick or no, a good product is a good product.

Full Review

Brach’s Peanut Butter Poppins: Legacy Shmegacy. These Things are Good.

Reviewed by Matty on May 3, 2011

I Know I know. Brach's is candy heresy. Well not these my brother. Not these.

Full Review

Twix Coconut, Please! And…Hold The Coconut?

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 21, 2011

I’m not happy. What the hell is going on with all these candy companies making coconut flavored candies (a good...

Full Review

Same Sweet Candy Offers Some Sweet Caramels

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 5, 2011

I like the little guys, the small companies trying to make it big. And I like the Internet. It’s an instant...

Full Review

Toffee Turtles – Eat Some, Save the World, No Big Whoop

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 22, 2011

Why we don’t rely on kids to review candy: Dad: So how’d you like the candy? Kid A: Awesome Dad: Wow....

Full Review

Pretzel M&M’s – Candy Of The Year?

Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 11, 2011

Pretzel M&M's sure as HELL be better than the coconut ones. I'm angry.

Full Review

Whoah-These Rocks Rock! Jean Philippe River Rocks

Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 26, 2011

It's just fun to eat rocks. Don't tell me it's not.

Full Review

The Coconut Debate : Are M&Ms Coconut The Real Deal?

Reviewed by Jonny on Nov 16, 2010

I'll eat anything with coconut. But it's gotta HAVE coconut in it. Confused yet?

Full Review

Phillips Candy House Caramel Chocolate Apple – It’s A Giant

Reviewed by Jonny on Oct 26, 2010

There's chocolate, and chocolate, and caramel, and chocolate and an apple.

Full Review

Ritter-Sport: New (and Old?) Chocolate Bars FTW

Reviewed by Matty on Aug 31, 2010

Full Review

Goo Goo Clusters Go Old School On Y’ass…

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 20, 2010

This claims to be the FIRST EVER combination candy bar. Intrigued?

Full Review

Alpenliebe-Orangey Chocolatey Hard Creamy Yet Not Dreamy

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 13, 2010

Grandma might steal them from you.

Full Review

Who’s Up For A Soybean Kit Kat?

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 15, 2010

Green Tea and Intense Roasted Soybean Kit Kats. Breakfast time!

Full Review

Not Just Cereal: Sugar Cereal Covered in Sugar

Reviewed by Matty on Jun 11, 2010

What are they? Oh just little fun boxes filled with yr favorite sweet cereals covered in chocolate. Any kid under 10 will rid their DVRs of Hannah Montana for a year straight to get a fix of this stuff.

Full Review

And The Winner Is…Vosges Haut Chocolat!

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 8, 2010

Vosges continues to make chocolate based candy treats that are insta-classics. This time is no exception.

Full Review

Vosges Haut-Chocolat

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 6, 2010

We whole heartily suggest you try the insane delights and luxurious chocolates at Vosges Haut-Chocolat. Especially the stuff with bacon!

Full Review

Marich Confectionary Stuns the Gurus

Reviewed by Jonny on May 11, 2010

Solid candies from a family company. Word!

Full Review

Güdfüd: Stuffed Marshmallows Never Tasted So Imported

Reviewed by Matty on May 7, 2010

They're called güdfüd and they're American. Read the review, but I warn you, though the candy is ok, this review sucks.

Full Review

Ireland – Is There More Than U2, The Name “Rowan” and Guiness???

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 14, 2010

Here's a first- candy from Ireland. Will it suck, or stay strong like the rest of Europe?

Full Review

Gimbal’s Cherry Lover’s – Nine Cherry Favorites

Reviewed by Scotty on Apr 11, 2010

These are well made, heart shaped Jelly Beanish chews in 9 distinct cherry flavors. I kind of dig them,. And as touted, I can really taste the cherry juice - and they are very juicy.

Full Review

Wonka’s Exceptionals: Chocolate Bars – disappointing, unless you’re an Oompa.

Reviewed by Scotty on Mar 22, 2010

I looked up "exceptional" in the dictionary and found that it means unusually excellent or superior, extremely rare and extraordinary. Then I looked through the Wonka website and they call the Wonka Exceptional Chocolate bars "the World's Most Incomparably Imaginative Chocolate." Really? Quite a description to live up to...

Full Review

Sweet & Salty Corn Bits: Make Love to Them

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 5, 2010

See yourself as the John Mayer of new experiences? Someone who makes love to life like it’s crack cocaine? Then my friend — you are in for a world of tastiness with these choco covered corn nuts.

Full Review

Vosges Chocolate Covered Chile Tortilla Chips : Stoner Food 101

Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 24, 2010

You can't get these at Taco Bell-yet.

Full Review

King Leo’s Chocolaty Pillows

Reviewed by Scotty on Jan 5, 2010

Scotty likes nuts n' bits in his mouth. Oh, and peppermints.

Full Review

Katje’s Tappsy – Marshy Licorice Hell

Reviewed by Matty on Dec 9, 2009

Full Review

Chocri Khan Let Me Rock You Chocri Khan

Reviewed by Matty on Nov 17, 2009

Make-your-own chocolate bars with loads of toppings - they aint cheap but they can be hot.

Full Review

Chock Full Of Eastern Promise, and Goo!

Reviewed by Jonny on Nov 13, 2009

Last Monday was a good day. Sure, I had lost my fantasy football matchup the weekend before, and yes, I was still...

Full Review

Tropical Stormz Tootsie Pops Lollipops, Fantasy Football Style

Reviewed by Mattyguru Jr. on Nov 11, 2009

$100 says you can't finish reading this review--it's THAT long.

Full Review

Yorkie is Yucky

Reviewed by Matty on Nov 1, 2009

Yorkie is like : not so much.

Full Review

Popcorn Induced Flashback

Reviewed by Jonny on Oct 30, 2009

In 1984, I could get egg flavored popcorn if I felt like it.

Full Review

Curlywurly – Britain’s Answer to the Beloved Marathon Bar?

Reviewed by Jonny on Sep 29, 2009

If I could, I'd enrobe MYSELF in caramel and chocolate.

Full Review

Chocoretas: Mexi Candy Hint o’ Minty

Reviewed by Matty on Aug 18, 2009

Mexican mint chocolate never tasted so imported

Full Review

Viva USA! Go NASA! Eat the Moon Rocks!

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 21, 2009

Just another bunch of chocolates, or for ONCE, something special?

Full Review

Oh, Carlos. Be Better, Please.

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 6, 2009

OOH, a plain chocolate bar! Wow!

Full Review

Boys on the Town Talking Tappsy

Reviewed by Matty on May 14, 2009

Full Review

No one Better Slay a Singer on My Butterfinger

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 7, 2009

If you need to read my review to know what this candy tastes like, then you either live in a cave or live outside the US. Both sound kinda fun to me right now.

Full Review