Ice Cubes: Classic Chocolate Misnomer

Chocolate makes the world go around. Or is that peace. Or is it money. I can never remember.

Reviewed by Matty

August 23, 2011

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Never has the past looked so shiny and bright as when you look at it through the lens of your past candy loves.

Remember Razzles? When I was 8, I thought these were God. Read Jonny’s review to de-bunk that myth for you.

Ever had Dynamints?

(Thanks to 70’s Child for the pic!)

I did. Every Saturday after my baseball game. 25 cents. Fruit flavor tic tac-like little bits. Now they don’t even make them anymore. How good could they have been?

And now to our review hero: Ice Cubes! My sweet work friend Holly has been suggesting I review these for years, and I said I would but never happened upon them, until just a few weeks ago at Powell’s candy store. They came in a huge tub and I bought a handful.

I remember these old chocolates to be like Chunky. Turns out they are about a third of that size. Will they be as good as I remember or will they too classically disappoint?

Pretend you are someone who has never heard of Ice Cubes, or perhaps you simply are someone who has never heard of them. When you hear the name, what do you think they’d be like? I assumed they would have some kind of essence that would make them coooool. Maybe they’d be a really hard chocolate. Maybe they’d have just a hint of mint. Maybe they’d come in a box in the shape of an old school ice tray. Sorry, but no on all fronts. I think they’re called Ice Cubes because I had to keep them in the fridge so they wouldn’t liquify. They were super shuper soft. Once I started in on them, they melted immediately…wait a minute…Like ice would be…! Yes!

Holly and I both agreed that we thought they’d be better then they were. The chocolate isn’t for real cocoa lovers; an Ice Cube couldn’t hold the jock of a Vosges bar, for example. The flavor is like what Crystal light is to hardcore iced tea drinkers.

The image above makes it look like a darker chocolate, but it’s not. It’s very milk. And yet, I liked the hazelnut overtones, which kept it from tasting like run-o-the-mill American chocolate. The silky soft texture was kind of sexy and the bite was the right size, like a slightly bigger hershey miniature.

I’d eat these again like it was 1967. Especially because in 1967, no one knew what calorie counting was.

Zolli Candy

3 Comments

  1. Josh

    Yuck

    Reply
  2. greebs

    These are repugnant. Ice Cubes are barely chocolate.

    Reply
  3. MightyAsh

    DynaMints were awesome! I totally forgot about those, but I loved them!

    Reply

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