We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Hotlix Margarita & Margarita with Salt Lollipops

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I don’t even remember who sent these to us, but if it was you, trust me, you’re gonna wanna remain anonymous.

I’m gonna start things off with the positive.  Look at the bright colors!

 

Who eats lollies? Generally speaking, little kids. So while I appreciate these “mature” flavors, I’m not sure I’m really gonna see a 40-something tech gal slurping on one of these at her open space desk/cube/dungeon/computer station. However, I’m a big fan of a good margarita. So let’s give them a chance.

 

 

Absolute shit. Shite even! These things are a blatant disaster and I need to speak to whomever created them because I’m offended. Deeply. And here’s why.

 

There’s almost NO flavor of ANY kind with this thing. It’s just a sugar pop. Actually, it’s not: it’s a corn syrup pop, and honestly, that odd sweet corny taste? THAT’S the primary flavor. I tried to hang in there to see if the flavor bloomed, but I just couldn’t continue.  The insipid, cloying overwhelming sweetness with no taste just pushed me out. I had to bail. Corn isn’t candy.

These are officially “spitters”, folks. They’re vile. They’re not good in any way and I defy anyone to prove me wrong.

Years ago, we reviewed something else by Hotlix (note how young Jonny Guru Jr. is!) and that sucked too. This leads me to the only conclusion possible: Hotlix is a garbage candy company trying to cash in on tourists buying brightly colored lollipops in overpriced candy stores, because no one else is buying these. And if they are, they’re giving them as gifts and the recipients aren’t happy about it.

And neither are you. Yes, I’ve left a link but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m gonna let any of you click it.

Do NOT…..hit the button below.  Just don’t do it.

 

3 Comments

  1. This hearkens back to my favorite reviews of yore. Outstanding. And real. and funny. Because it’s real

  2. You should try Southern born lollyphile for quality “adult lollipops” lol seriously! They are awesome!
    http://www.lollyphile.com

    • Agreed, Lollyphile, despite a somewhat questionable choice of name, makes AMAZING lollypops.

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