When my fantasies all came true the other day … which started with Haribo sending me an email saying “can we send you candy?” and me sending one back saying, “Uh YAH.” … and then the candy arrived and angels started singing and suddenly my taxes were paid and my company’s stock price was 10 dollars higher and my kids stopped complaining and my wife asked if I was interested in meeting her new girlfriend … Well it was just too much! So much that I barely even tasted the candy, I just ripped ope the bag and dug me right in! I mean fucking HARIBO sent me CANDY to REVIEW. Is everyone getting the immenseness of it all?!
And then I took a step back. I breathed. I put my pants back on. I sat down and slowed down. I grabbed a piece of the Haribo Tropifrutti, and I gathered my thoughts. This review, folks, are those thoughts. This, my friends, is the start of something.
And then – I landed back on earth. And earth? Aint so great. It’s OK – some fun things, occasional good books, movies, TV, gadgets and of course music. The kids are funny and huggable, my wife lovely. But it’s still EARTH. It ain’t EDEN for chrissakes. And this, my friends, is where Tropifrutti lay. Right here in this world. Not in the heavens, simply: grounded.
Let’s start with the name: Tropifrutti. Ok. I know what they are. I expect some tropical flavors. And they are there, general tropical flavors. I can’t really tell what’s what, they just have that overall tropical flare. From the package it appears there is banana and pineapple and mango maybe. Maybe orange too. Flaves are fine. Nothing to write home about. But that’s not what Haribo has ever been about for me. Haribo is about real gummi feel. Chewy and dense. With a little aging – even more so. Tropifutti though…not so much. They are kinda jellyish. And squishy. sigh.
Ok – let’s put these bad boys in the fridge for a few weeks. Nothin’ like the ol’ standby of an ope package in the fridge to get a candy tough and chewier right?!
Sigh 2.
Um no.
Didn’t work.
These have that hard feel on the outside but they’re like jello on the inside. Ok maybe not jello, but jelly. ok not jelly, but like a slightly harder turkish delight. eh.
Isn’t it just…? I mean ISN’T it JUST. Here I get free goods from a candy company I promote ALL the time. And in return, I get a haribo genus I just don’t really care for. To laugh, really.
Still, it’s not all doom and gloom for our hero – Tropifrutti are edible. I’m eating them right now (or was). And the green ones, that look like palm trees, are my favorite. No idea what flavor they are but I like it…And I know the other Matty (who reviews occasionally, like this tootsie pop review from last football season) would like these. Many others of you into the jells would like these too. And there are lots of you…as our comments on previous posts would suggest.
Still.
This site isn’t about you.
It’s about me.
Waaah.
